Awkward situation with a friend, help!

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05-01-09, 06:05 PM
MalayAmok

Awkward situation with a friend, help!

Hi guys, I have a problem that I'm not willing to talk about to my friends in 'real life' So I hope you guys will be able to help me out.

So I have this close friend who happens to be a girl

Even though she is a good-looking and cool person, I've never felt attracted to her, not one bit (honestly).

But then she kissed me once (she was really drunk) then once more one week later. We also slept together and had non-penetrative sex (she really felt like doing it the second time, but I refused because I had no protection).

That was a couple of months ago, and I we never talked about it, and it never happened again. Sometimes she is really flirty with me (and sometimes I am as well), and sometimes it's almost like she pushes me away. But we have gotten even closer (really).

Any advice on what to do, and especially on how to do it?

The problem is that I thought I could just forget about this, but I can't. It's been more than two months. I can't look at her the way I used to anymore, I can't really see her as a friend. I'm confused about my feelings. I often feel like kissing her again, she makes me really horny. I know there's a lot of lust in it (I have to be honest, I don't have a gf and haven't gotten some for some time and I've been really busy), to sleep with her would be a dream come true. At the same time I know I feel like this because she's a great girl.

I also think she's been a bit confused, but I can tell from the way she behaves and the things she says she doesn't want to do anything else than just be friends with me anymore, or at least that she's afraid of getting involved with a friend (but I can't be sure either since we haven't talked about it). But as I said, I can't see her like that anymore, which is a shame because we get along great. I even know that if I saw her kissing another guy I'd be a wee bit jealous (which is a huge deal for me because I'm almost NEVER jealous of anything and I'm a very 'in control of my feelings' type)

I don't really know what to do. As I said, I thought I could get over it, but the ambiguity of it all is still bugging me. I've thought about kissing her as soon as I get an opportunity to be alone with, or just talk to her about it. I know that if I try to tough it out, I'll fail and be flirty with her whenever I feel happy or tipsy and it's going to bother her and make her dislike me.

I have to say, most of all I want my mind to be at peace. The fact this is bothering me so much is starting to bother me

Any advice on what to do and especially how to do it?
05-01-09, 06:17 PM
Charlie Boy II

I was in almost exactly the same situation as you a few years' back.

My money is you'll do the same thing me and my friend did: have drunken sex a couple of times and then stand back and watch the friendship disintergrate.

You sound like you both are at a stage with it where you need to get it out of your systems. It'll be hard to continue a normal friendship at this stage.

I'd say just go for it and see what happens, to be honest.
05-01-09, 07:23 PM
MalayAmok

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was in almost exactly the same situation as you a few years' back.

My money is you'll do the same thing me and my friend did: have drunken sex a couple of times and then stand back and watch the friendship disintergrate.

You sound like you both are at a stage with it where you need to get it out of your systems. It'll be hard to continue a normal friendship at this stage.

I'd say just go for it and see what happens, to be honest.

You say I got nothing to lose so I should go for it? Guess I should since if I do nothing I'll probably end up feeling miserable. But I'm afraid it might all end badly and I'll never be able to see her again, and she's dear to me.
05-01-09, 07:26 PM
lesa

What is with the strong urge to **** a friend? Pretend she is male or something. Just because she has a vagina doesn't mean you must **** her.

Men :bored:
05-01-09, 07:30 PM
Aeradalia

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What is with the strong urge to **** a friend? Pretend she is male or something. Just because she has a vagina doesn't mean you must **** her.

Men :bored:

She's a friend.. great personality... easy to get along with... cares about you... likes to actually listen to what you have to say... and happens to be a good looking female...

Yeah... I can't see anything at all alluring about wanting to **** a friend... lol
05-01-09, 08:27 PM
lesa

If his male friend had those qualities would he want to **** him?

I'm trying to help the guy lol. He's probably going to lose a good friend.
05-01-09, 09:43 PM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalayAmok [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Even though she is a good-looking and cool person, I've never felt attracted to her, not one bit (honestly).

I also think she's been a bit confused, but I can tell from the way she behaves and the things she says she doesn't want to do anything else than just be friends with me anymore

Yes, I can tell from your post and your makeout sessions you aren't attracted to each other. :P

Dude, you aren't friends. We have a saying here (that NEEDS a sticky, btw):

Friends don't fcuk friends. Friends don't want to fcuk friends, either.

You should ask her out on a date, stop goofing around with this friends stuff. That's not where this is heading, so you might as well bite the bullet now.

If she gives some line about 'not ruining the friendship', talk to her about this & ask her outright if he is into you or not. She might feel a bit uncomfortable, but most gals will give you straight goods if you ask, outright. If she says, yes, she likes you then date her. If not, she's not your friend so move on.
05-01-09, 11:51 PM
MalayAmok

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What is with the strong urge to **** a friend? Pretend she is male or something. Just because she has a vagina doesn't mean you must **** her.

Men :bored:

Well I got the strong urge after she kissed me and tried to f*** me. Women... lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If his male friend had those qualities would he want to **** him?

Maybe if I were gay :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes, I can tell from your post and your makeout sessions you aren't attracted to each other. :P

Dude, you aren't friends. We have a saying here (that NEEDS a sticky, btw):

Friends don't fcuk friends. Friends don't want to fcuk friends, either.

You should ask her out on a date, stop goofing around with this friends stuff. That's not where this is heading, so you might as well bite the bullet now.

If she gives some line about 'not ruining the friendship', talk to her about this & ask her outright if he is into you or not. She might feel a bit uncomfortable, but most gals will give you straight goods if you ask, outright. If she says, yes, she likes you then date her. If not, she's not your friend so move on.

No, I said I wasn't attracted to her before. Of course I am now... I can't help it, I thought I could, but I can't. I think your advice is pretty good, I think she should hear what you said. Thanks.
06-01-09, 11:49 AM
all alone

you obviously are both confused to some extent, and you should probably sit down and have a real, face to face, no alcohol involved discussion about this. Takes out the guess work and if your really good friends, then you will be able to work past your differences.. if you got someone on the dramatic side or thats rly stubborn and shit blows up, could take longer, but if they are understanding and a good listner and its def the right move.