Break up advice... is it over? Please help!

So my girlfriend and I decided it was time to take time apart. After 4.5 years of dating, she told me that "it feels like we're just friends"... this was during a make out session before we went to bed. I was unhappy with the relationship torwards the end as well. It didn't hit me until a few days later, and then I spent the next few days locked in my room crying. We talked a few times about what was going on, and I told her I couldn't talk to her for a while. I gave it two weeks and asked her to dinner. We talked afterwards for a couple of hours, and after I poured my heart out and told her that I want to try and work things out and I truly do love her, she decided that she wants to go on one date a week for a while. It's been almost 2 months, and we're still in this gray area. We're not kissing, no sex, not staying at each others houses, but it's getting reallllly hard to not be able to tell her I love her, or kiss her good night... and she doesn't realize what type of torture im putting myself through. But I feel like I have to wait this out to find out for sure. Is this just a waste of time? I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

One more thing, I'm terrified of the thought of knowing that she could be with another guy. I'm not a violent person or anything, but I truly am afraid of how I will react when the day comes I find out she is with another guy.:(

How old are you guys?

I went through the exact same thing, when I was 22....had been dating the same guy for almost five years. I realized one day that he felt like more of a brother or a friend. We tried to work it out, but we'd outgrown each other and eventually broke up.

I won't lie to you, it hurt like hell. I was inconsolable when I found he was dating someone else. It took me a long time to get over it. In hindsight, though, it was the best decision ever.

The way I see it, once you start having those feelings like you're 'just friends', you're probably done. You may love each other a lot, based on your time together, but you may not be right for each other anymore. You may just have to face up to reality.

Sometimes people change or outgrow each other. It is disappointing when it happens, but it's a basic fact of life.