Help me help my friend she needs it!!

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10-01-09, 07:05 PM
missminxy

Help me help my friend she needs it!!

My best friend had this really bad casual thing going on with a guy for the past two years. He until recently had a live in gf the whole time. We all agree this guy is not good for her given his inability to commit to one person. During their two year tryst he gave her hell about his situation and said she didnt understand. Let me assure she did, and never pressured him for anything more, in fact she use to counsel him regarding his relationship issues with his gf and encouraged him to sort things out with her. They hadnt spoken in roughly 6 mnths and he recently sent her an email stating that he had ended his relationship and i quote "i wish i had done some things differently, you included". Now this has bought up a whole heap of unresolved feelings for her. How do we convince her to move on or should we allow her to go for it again, and hope it works out.
10-01-09, 08:54 PM
vashti

Sorry, but I doubt there is much you can do to stop it. Some girls need to learn the hard way, and it sounds lie your friend is one of them. Just tell her (ONCE) what your concerns are, and drop it.
11-01-09, 12:38 AM
Lite

Like Vashti said. Some people only learn by falling flat on their faces. Some people never learn. Sometimes all you can do is cut them loose to live their own deranged lives without dragging you down with them.
14-01-09, 12:05 PM
Nummas

Lite is right.
But it's more like Many peaple never learn, not just some.
If your friend wont listen to your warnings or advice the first time then give up.
I have a chick friend who is forever making stupid decisions when it comes to guys. And I got to the point where I tolde her I wasn't interested in her problems anymore.
Don't waste your life trying to correct other peoples mistakes, think more about what makes you happy.

Cheers
Nummas
14-01-09, 01:33 PM
fabioblog

Quote:

Originally Posted by missminxy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My best friend had this really bad casual thing going on with a guy for the past two years. He until recently had a live in gf the whole time. We all agree this guy is not good for her given his inability to commit to one person. During their two year tryst he gave her hell about his situation and said she didnt understand. Let me assure she did, and never pressured him for anything more, in fact she use to counsel him regarding his relationship issues with his gf and encouraged him to sort things out with her. They hadnt spoken in roughly 6 mnths and he recently sent her an email stating that he had ended his relationship and i quote "i wish i had done some things differently, you included". Now this has bought up a whole heap of unresolved feelings for her. How do we convince her to move on or should we allow her to go for it again, and hope it works out.

One way to help her is to get her to go out and date more. When she has more options on the table, then all of a sudden her attention could be focused on promising dates with eligible men rather than a casual fling from her past.

I would suggest her to think about how important his words really are. He probably spent 2 seconds writing an email and casually put in "you included". If he is not important in her life any more, why should she care about what he thinks?