Cold feet about living together or cheating?

Hi..

My boyfriend's been acting really weird lately.

A month ago we signed a rental contract on an apartment in Belgium (where he's from) but I can't move there "officially" for another 6 weeks because of studies. He says this is the main problem for the "depression" he's in atm, the fact we couldn't be together on new years eve and because I don't want to have a baby atm. I've tried talking to him about all of those things, which he claimed were major issues, but 10 minutes into the conversation, he said, "Just drop it." and changed the subject.

He's changed his facebook and gmail passwords, but checks mine every day. He takes 10-15 minutes to reply on MSN, but normally it's instant. And for the past couple of weeks, when I've said "I love you" he's replied with, "me too babe.", "likewise." or just smiled. He doesn't do it most of the time but he's never done it at all before.

I thought it was to do with living together, cold feet or something, but he's constantly telling me to take my exam early so that we can move in together ASAP, he doesn't want to wait any longer, and he won't live on his own. So idk.

Or he's seeing another girl, which is where I'm leaning towards tbh.

I've never been cheated on before (to my knowledge) and I've only ever had one other relationship which lasted for 4 years. My ex was never this way so I've nothing to go on really. Especially with it being long distance atm.

He just isn't being himself at all and he's really distant - bottling things up which is definitely NOT how he is! He's the first to tell you what's on his mind.

I'm sorry it's so long but I'm supposed to give up my whole life to be with him and yeah, idk, I'd just like some opinions please =) x

Edited to add:
In regards to the password thing (in case anyone asks), he randomly gave me his one night & I suspect he did it because he wanted to have mine - he's quite an insecure person. I've only logged into his facebook account once or twice and that was back in August when he gave me it. I haven't tried since so can't say how long it's been since he changed them, unfortunately. x

Dunno, don't imagine him saying even ditto or whatever if he has someone there who would objet to such language to begin with.

The password bit is just really damn strange though, and leads me to wonder if he is cheating. If it takes 10-15 minutes then he may be waiting for someone to leave the room/look away/etc.

Your boyfriend is being ridiculous. First of all he needs to understand that education should come before the relationship. If that gives him depression well too bad. Be sure to tell him that, and if he doesn't understand, well just take as much time as you need for Uni (or whatever kind of school you're in)

Second of all, your relationship doesn't seem to be built on trust. If you need to exchange your email passwords and things, this guy does not trust you. Do you want to room with someone like that? Who goes through all your things to make sure you're behaving the way he wants you to? I don't think so. I would want to room with someone that gives me the privacy I need and the respect and trust I need. That's going to destroy your relationship eventually. You need to get him to understand that too; he needs to fight his insecurities, not you. Change your passwords so he doesn't have access.

And another thing - don't plan a pregnancy before you're finished with school, because if you have a child before graduation, slim chance you will finish your education. If your boyfriend can't understand that, well he isn't boyfriend material. Maybe you need to consider whether or not this guy has the ability to make the right decisions in order to make your relationship a successful one. For one thing, you shouldn't feel like you're being cheated for any reason.

And the last thing I want to say, is that if your boyfriend is bottling things up, obviously that's not good for the relationship. Poor communication, I'd say, is the leading cause of most failing relationships today.

He is trying to control you.

The reason for his depression is that you won't move in soon or have his baby--yeah right.

He is trying to get you stuck with him for fear of losing you. Examples: moving him ASAP, having a baby, giving you his password (in hopes of receiving yours).

He wants you to move in because he fears you are the one leaving or cheating.
He wants you to have a baby because he fears you are the one thinking of leaving or cheating.
He gives you his passwords (in hope that you would do the same) because he fears you are leaving or cheating.

The man is highly insecure and blames depression. He may need counseling.

EDIT: What is with people giving each other password? That's strange to me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sophomore_Slump [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's changed his facebook and gmail passwords, but checks mine every day.

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I don't think it even matters what his reasons are for doing this, it's just creepy wrong. Change your passwords and be ready to stand up for yourself when he explodes.