Is it even worth it to keep trying?

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27-01-09, 02:03 AM
Crowdia

Is it even worth it to keep trying?

Met a guy pretty casually online. Through some common interests, not through dating sites or anything. It made me happy, 'cause it felt more natural that way.

He used to get really excited about talking to me, and finally he wanted to see me. He even pushed the date of meet-up farther away because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable, but he admitted, he really wanted to see me sooner. We were so excited!

So the date comes along, he's within decent driving distance, so meeting wasn't too hard. It was a great day! And we learned a lot about each other and laughed a lot and had lots of fun. I thought it went really, really well.

But now, it's been nearly a week and a half since that day. I don't know if I'm expecting too much, or what. But now he doesn't talk to me like he used to. He doesn't respond to me hardly. There was a time when he said that he liked to receive my text messages because it let him know he was thinking about me. But I don't get that feeling from him anymore. There's just next to no response at all.

Have I not given it enough time? Should I be expecting as much as I am? I mean, just some response would be nice. Even if he told me it didn't go over on his end the way I thought it went, I'd be okay with that. But he won't respond one way or the other.

Do I address it? Do I ignore it? Do I ignore him? I'm feeling confused, because obviously with no communication, I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's just too busy for me. And the silence kinda stings.
27-01-09, 02:10 AM
Indignant

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowdia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Do I address it? Do I ignore it? Do I ignore him? I'm feeling confused, because obviously with no communication, I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's just too busy for me. And the silence kinda stings.

of course address it and ask him if it was something that you did or said that has disappointed him, since he became distant after your last date.
27-01-09, 02:13 AM
Lite

Maybe he's just having a busy week or two at work? Have you asked him why he's being distant?
27-01-09, 04:10 AM
Crowdia

Oh, I agree, it's entirely possible his work week was busy. He told me he had been. But then, there were times even after work was over, or even on his weekend, I'd get no reply. Not even, "I'm with friends, I'm working on projects, talk to you later." If he was busy or if he was with friends, that'd be cool, I'd have no qualms with that. I just wish I knew one way or the other.
27-01-09, 04:13 AM
Lite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowdia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If he was busy or if he was with friends, that'd be cool, I'd have no qualms with that. I just wish I knew one way or the other.

So, he's required to let you know where he is and what he's doing at all times?

Then again, maybe he's not responding because he's off w/ another woman.
27-01-09, 04:20 AM
Gigabitch

You know that saying about expecting the best but preparing for the worst? You should apply that to your circumstance. Maybe you couldn't measure up to his fantasies of what you were going to be like in person, and maybe it's just taking him some time to get back to you, or maybe he's got someone else now or maybe....

Who knows? Whatever his reasons are, you're not intimately involved with him enough to have the right to know what they are. You only went on one date, and the sad fact is that he doesn't owe you anything. Either he'll come back or he won't, but I don't see the point of tearing yourself up over it in the meantime.
27-01-09, 04:24 AM
Lite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know that saying about expecting the best but preparing for the worst?

Trust in God, but tie up your camel.
27-01-09, 04:34 AM
Crowdia

You're right, it's expecting too much.

It wasn't that I always wanted to know where he was, but rather to know that I hadn't been forgotten.

I will prepare for the worst and I will be okay.
27-01-09, 07:44 AM
carl1222

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowdia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Met a guy pretty casually online. Through some common interests, not through dating sites or anything. It made me happy, 'cause it felt more natural that way.

He used to get really excited about talking to me, and finally he wanted to see me. He even pushed the date of meet-up farther away because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable, but he admitted, he really wanted to see me sooner. We were so excited!

So the date comes along, he's within decent driving distance, so meeting wasn't too hard. It was a great day! And we learned a lot about each other and laughed a lot and had lots of fun. I thought it went really, really well.

But now, it's been nearly a week and a half since that day. I don't know if I'm expecting too much, or what. But now he doesn't talk to me like he used to. He doesn't respond to me hardly. There was a time when he said that he liked to receive my text messages because it let him know he was thinking about me. But I don't get that feeling from him anymore. There's just next to no response at all.

Have I not given it enough time? Should I be expecting as much as I am? I mean, just some response would be nice. Even if he told me it didn't go over on his end the way I thought it went, I'd be okay with that. But he won't respond one way or the other.

Do I address it? Do I ignore it? Do I ignore him? I'm feeling confused, because obviously with no communication, I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's just too busy for me. And the silence kinda stings.

The problem with meeting online and then later in person is that there is no way that either of you can possible know beforehand whether
you will get along or whether or not there is the absolutely essential "spark" or "chemistry" until you are face-to-face.

While I agree that, as a casual date, he wouldn't normally owe you an explanation, I think it's chickens**t of him just to walk away after planting the seeds of a possible relationship with you online.

Carl.
27-01-09, 07:48 AM
lesa

He wanted an "online only" relationship and not an offline regular relationship. He doesn't know what to do now. Are you interested in a man that doesn't show interest in you?
27-01-09, 09:20 AM
Mish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowdia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But now, it's been nearly a week and a half since that day. I don't know if I'm expecting too much, or what. But now he doesn't talk to me like he used to. He doesn't respond to me hardly. There was a time when he said that he liked to receive my text messages because it let him know he was thinking about me. But I don't get that feeling from him anymore. There's just next to no response at all.

I hate to be the one to say it, but it doesn't look good. I think it's still possible that he is simply too busy. But most likely he probably didn't like something on the first date and is now distancing himself. That something could have been anything. From the food you ate, to how you behaved, to a mole he didn't like on your face. It could also be that he enjoyed the date and he liked you, but has now found someone else. This is unfortunately a sad reality of dating.