So I might be in love with a total jerk.

I know he's a jerk, I know he's selfish and inconsiderate and takes advantage of me because he knows that I won't deny him hardly anything. He knows it too. Other people see it; they know it too.

I used to date him; we're "friends" now. I couple of days ago, one of my closest friends asked me if I put up with the way he treats me because I still have feelings for him, and I began this emotional rollercoaster train of thought that I can't find the end of. I think I might love him, even though I denied it.

If I were smart, I would just remove him from my life completely. But I don't. Instead, I let him drive my car, something no one else gets to do, and watch him break my friends' hearts as well.

I don't know what to do, or what I feel. Help me, please.

You have to break all contact. I was there as well. It is hrad trust me the sleepless nights the constant wondering "what is he doing now" it will all eventually stop and you will feel so much better in the end.

Here is something I wrote one year out of my reationship it has been over 2 years now and my life is only getting better.

What I Have Learned

I have learned being on my own is ok. I will not die from being alone, I will likely grow stronger as time goes on.

I have learned to watch for red flags and listen to them.

I have learned to start breaking down walls that he helped build.

I have learned to not let small stuff get to me

I have learned no matter how many tears I cried he was not worth one of them.

I have learned how my own actions caused some of what happened.

I have learned not to be afraid to say what I think.

I have learned the happiness I seek is within me not the people around me.

Most of all I have learned to like me again.

Why do you need help from us?

You know everything that is wrong with your relationship, so it's not like you're in the dark about it.

What do you want from us?

Evelyn's roommate's true love is sometimes perceived by others to be crass and obnoxious. However, she is the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created (according to Katie). True love sees past the flaws! We understand where their aggression, or need to prove themselves come from... and we love them all the more for it. Right? Maybe that's just lesbians, but I don't think so.

You've pretty much stated all the reasons to break up with him, and none for staying with him. It sounds like you know what you need to do, but are afraid of dealing with the pain necessary to do it.

Versus Alason's post here which is pretty much again, the worst kind of advice you can provide someone. The pandering excuse for them to do what the chemical reaction that you believe is your heart says instead of what you really should do.

From a psychological standpoint you're not enforcing your personal boundaries. This is going to lead you to be very bitter, angry, and disillusioned about your life if you don't put your foot down and tell him his behavior is unacceptable.

However it sounds like you lack the personal conviction and self control to do so, in which case simply dumping the sod and working on addressing why you're unable to live your life on your terms is the proper course of action.

Mia, sometimes people get in these situations where the head knows the right thing to do but the heart hasn't caught up yet (I'm paraphrasing Mish here...I wish I remember his exact quote). You know what you need to do, you said so yourself. If you need us to give you a little push, by all means, here you go:

Cut him out of your life and BREAK contact with him, hon. Tell him you need to move on, although any excuse will do. In fact, you owe him no explanation. Just do it...and fast! Whatever kind of negative emotions you might feel at first will soon be eclipsed by relief that a jerk is out of your life as well as satisfaction that you did the right thing for yourself.

Do the thing you know you should do, and emotions will catch up eventually.

Keep us posted and feel free to come here for support. There are quite a few people here who have been in your shoes and could offer you some good insights.

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Originally Posted by MiaBeloved [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know he's a jerk, I know he's selfish and inconsiderate and takes advantage of me because he knows that I won't deny him hardly anything. He knows it too. Other people see it; they know it too.

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Who cares now? if he is the jerk that you make him out to be than it doesn't matter. Jerks - 19328473459814(I'm somewhere in this number) Nice guys- 0 ...once again...and it doesn't matter if you break up with him now..he already got to **** you...probably still does. You break up with him he will just move on to the next ****able girl. Of course unless you are making him sound worse than he really is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MiaBeloved [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know he's a jerk, I know he's selfish and inconsiderate and takes advantage of me because he knows that I won't deny him hardly anything. He knows it too. Other people see it; they know it too.

I used to date him; we're "friends" now. I couple of days ago, one of my closest friends asked me if I put up with the way he treats me because I still have feelings for him, and I began this emotional rollercoaster train of thought that I can't find the end of. I think I might love him, even though I denied it.

If I were smart, I would just remove him from my life completely. But I don't. Instead, I let him drive my car, something no one else gets to do, and watch him break my friends' hearts as well.

I don't know what to do, or what I feel. Help me, please.

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It matters not.You aren't going to break up with him nor are you going to let him off.Classical case.

Mia, is there any line he could cross that would change your heart? I'm sure it's not actually limitless, this indulgence of yours.

This isn't really about him, anyway. Putting up with this kind of crap is about you and how you disrespect yourself. Why do you do that? Did someone teach you to treat yourself like this? If you can get to the root of this and fix it, he'll be powerless over you.