Asking a girl out, need advice.

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04-02-09, 06:13 AM
fhbob

Asking a girl out, need advice.

So I'm a sophmore in college right now and I want to ask out a girl out who I have known since highschool. We go to the same college too by the way. But anyway back in highschool I was a bigger guy and kinda shy because of it, so I never really talked to her too much. We had a few conversations here and there but nothing major.

Well I have dropped like 80 pounds since then and am a fairly attractive guy I think. I'm not so nervous like I was back in highscool around girls because of the weight loss among other things, but since this girl knew me back then and all I still am sorta shy around her.

So my questions are:
1. If you knew someone that looked some way for a long time but then changed (as in my weightloss), would you always sorta see them the old way?

2. Like I said I'm sorta still shy around her and don't talk to her too often, we wave when we se each other and say hey, but we have only talked a few times. Should I make a concious effot to make casual conversation with her a few more times 1st or should I just go ahead and ask her what she is doing next weekend?
04-02-09, 06:15 AM
Indignant

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhbob [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So I'm a sophmore in college right now and I want to ask out a girl out who I have known since highschool. We go to the same college too by the way. But anyway back in highschool I was a bigger guy and kinda shy because of it, so I never really talked to her too much. We had a few conversations here and there but nothing major.

Well I have dropped like 80 pounds since then and am a fairly attractive guy I think. I'm not so nervous like I was back in highscool around girls because of the weight loss among other things, but since this girl knew me back then and all I still am sorta shy around her.

So my questions are:
1. If you knew someone that looked some way for a long time but then changed (as in my weightloss), would you always sorta see them the old way?

2. Like I said I'm sorta still shy around her and don't talk to her too often, we wave when we se each other and say hey, but we have only talked a few times. Should I make a concious effot to make casual conversation with her a few more times 1st or should I just go ahead and ask her what she is doing next weekend?

this sounds awfully familiar, is your name Harold?
04-02-09, 07:06 AM
fhbob

No, lol, any advice?
04-02-09, 07:08 AM
Indignant

of course go for it. people only see you what you are at that moment. all of us were ugly ducklings at some point in our life.
04-02-09, 07:08 AM
Gigabitch

Has she given you any indication whatsoever that she's interested? I think it might be a good idea if you don't get your hopes too high. it's very likely that she does, indeed, still see you as you were, not as you are.
04-02-09, 07:09 AM
Indignant

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

it's very likely that she does, indeed, still see you as you were, not as you are.

what?!?.......................
04-02-09, 07:17 AM
Gigabitch

I'm speaking from experience, here. Thinking about a guy who was tubby at the beginning of high school and by the end had shed about 60 and looked good, but still had that "fat" stigma attached to him.
04-02-09, 01:10 PM
someguy1984

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhbob [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So I'm a sophmore in college right now and I want to ask out a girl out who I have known since highschool. We go to the same college too by the way. But anyway back in highschool I was a bigger guy and kinda shy because of it, so I never really talked to her too much. We had a few conversations here and there but nothing major.

Well I have dropped like 80 pounds since then and am a fairly attractive guy I think. I'm not so nervous like I was back in highscool around girls because of the weight loss among other things, but since this girl knew me back then and all I still am sorta shy around her.

So my questions are:
1. If you knew someone that looked some way for a long time but then changed (as in my weightloss), would you always sorta see them the old way?

2. Like I said I'm sorta still shy around her and don't talk to her too often, we wave when we se each other and say hey, but we have only talked a few times. Should I make a concious effot to make casual conversation with her a few more times 1st or should I just go ahead and ask her what she is doing next weekend?

If your asking for an opinion about this on a forum, most likely your not very confident and shy in general. Sure, your fine with people you know, but are uneasy on rejection. Which is fine, actually typical.

You need to stop thinking about how she is going to view you...Bro, it doesn't matter...You are who you are now, not then...If she is shallow enough to see the old you and not move passed it, then forget her. You don't want a girl like that, regardless if you like her now.

Personally, i think she would admire the fact that you got your stuff together and took action on losing weight and looking better. Most people would say congratulations and move on. Yes, of course she will think back about how you used to look, but like i said, if this somehow influences her to not want to date you, then let her go...Forget about it and move on...

The only thing you can do is try. Talk to her and be yourself. No one here can give you advice on how "not to be shy"...This comes with practice and just being yourself. No reason to get nervous, she is a person. If she likes you, good, if she doesn't who cares? You can't force someone to like you. Either she does, or she doesn't. Be yourself and let things happen. Be a gentlemen and treat a girl how she is supposed to be treated. Take her out, open doors for her, pay for dinner, have a few laughs and do your thing.

Time will tell.

Best of luck.