How do you stop the hurt?

I recently broke up with my best friend and my the first soul mate i have had. She has been my only lover and is 5.5years older than my 25 years of age. She is moving on dating others (long story - complicated break up where we tried dating other people while still together - more my idea than hers).

Problem is that i am looking for a job, living at home with parents, parents are in turmoil, dont have much money, struggling to find a job eventhough i have a 4 yr honours degree from a university (this is also killing me). I am gyming quite a lot, my apetite is being lost (history of overweight bad wating habits - never loss of apetite).

I really still love her and we are speaking on the phone most days (from her side just as much or little bit more and yes it is killing me a bit, but it also helps to hear her say that she is sad about us breaking up). and yes i do want her back and still hold a hope, but i sort of know that it will never happen as well.

I am -to tell you the truth - ashamedly crying quite a lot, i have nothing wlse to focus on really and i know that htis is part of the problem. forcing myself to try do these confidence books, part of break up was insecurity during window period.


I just want to know when does it stop, i miss her so much - we had such good times. I just want it to stop!!!!!!!! i think keeping myself busy would help, but looking for a job doesn't quite focus the mind as work would!! anyways i apologize for this self-pity post, but i am hoping someone can give some advice.