Stuck in the friend zone with the girl of my dreams...
Hi....! ;) Ive just felt like I would like to get some advice on my "situation" here so I found this useful forum via Google. I would appreciate any help.
So... yeh .. let me begin... Im 20, student, male.. I have "looks" (I think) but so far Ive never had a girlfriend because ive been a "nice guy" and a bit "shy". So i met this girl like 10 months ago.. and shes the most beautiful girl Ive seen... I think it was love from first sight.. (I saw her in the Uni gym by the way). So I really wanted to meet her. I waited for an opportunity. There was a party in the Uni student halls one day so I saw her there once and "chatted her up" saying that she was the girl from the "gym". So we became acquaintances and every time I saw her in the gym I talked to her. She was a fresher and I was a second year. I met her someday in April to be precise. So I wanted to impress her somehow and ask her out on a date. I wrote her two anonymous "secret admiration" letters and stuck them on the floor where she lived (Uni residences) and I wrote them in reverse with a rose flower attached to each letter. On the second letter I told her that I would reveal myself only if she meet me in that restaurant which I arranged. To make sure that I know that she read my letters I told her to change her Facebook status. So a few day later I found out that she read my letters but she could not meet me in that restaurant because she had work at that time.
BAD Luck I told to myself! Next week the semester was over and we had a 4 month holiday. The whole plan collapsed. She was left wondering who her secret admirer is. I didn’t see her over those 4 months but I did had a few chats over messenger. Throughout the holiday Ive spend EVERY single day thinking about her. I was so in love and I couldn’t wait for the holiday to be over so I could see her. Eventually October came and the new year started. This time I saw her again and we became good friends. I was really suprised. She invited me to salsa classes and we used to go the gym together every week. I got her number and told I would call her for the cinema one day. She said ok. I phoned her but she said she was busy for some reason which i cant remember and the "date" cancelled. So I though it was maybe a coincidence so I waited for like a month and I called her again to check if this time she wants to go to the cinema and watch a film. She said 'ok we'll go! if you arrange everything'. So i did arrange everything but at the day of the "date" I got a text saying that she didn’t feel well today so she wont be able to meet me. So I was left disappointed again said to myself she probably just wants to be friends. We continued being friends and going to the gym and salsa though.
Around December she invited me to her birthday. I bought her a present as well. I NOTICED that i was the only boy she invited EXCEPT some other guy which we both now that is a good friend of her (but i dont think he is a threat because he is one of those guys who 'hangs out with girls'). So I became one of her best friends in the end and I met most of her friends as well. The liked me as well.
Things I forgot to mention are that she used to hug me everytime she saw me, also hit me, make jokes... you know be super friendly. She has a wonderful personality as well. I just love so many things about her, not just her looks.
Today. The thing is its hard to be friends with someone who you have been secretely in love for the past 10 months. And I tried to forget her but it doesn’t work. I stopped going to salsa with her and she stopped going to the gym because she signed for some other hobby. She is in my mind still throughout the whole day still. I don’t know what to do now? I don’t see her much now cause we do different degrees as well so the gym and salsa were the only places I used to see her and make contact.
I want to be something more than friends with her. I tried to do that transition from friend to girlfriend but it doesnt work. So i feel like calling her next week and inviting her to a coffe for a chat where I can tell her everything.... the letters, that Im in love with her, and to ask her whether she feels the same.
Should I do this? Is it the right thing to do? Im scared but I cant live like this... I just want a Yes or No answer. If Yes GOOD! If No, then It will be easier for me to forget her. Have any of you done this? Do you think she will be shocked? IS there a probability that she will fall in love with me as well?
Any advice will be much appreciated! Thank you!
:)
