I'm too dependant on my boyfriend

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23-02-09, 08:30 AM
Covet

I'm too dependant on my boyfriend

Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year now and I've recently realised that I'm very dependant on him.

I'm really in love with him and I love every moment that we spend together, but I've noticed that if he's not there I won't know what to do with myself. I really don't want this. I'd like to have a life of my own as well as a love life, but at the moment it seems as if my life is completely and utterly devoted to him.

I do make time to see my friends occasionally, but I'd like to have a proper social life or a hobby that I could do without him, to get away from him. My main hobby is currently playing tennis, but he plays tennis with me and if I went without him intentionally he would probably feel really bad and left out. I also love playing tennis with him - it's what got us together and I don't want to change the fact that it's a good hobby that we do together.

Can somebody give me any idea's on what to do without him and how to feel more independent? I'd like to be able to go a week without missing him as I think that occasionally, having a few days off seeing each other can be quite healthy.

Thanks.
23-02-09, 08:45 AM
Mish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Covet [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Can somebody give me any idea's on what to do without him and how to feel more independent? I'd like to be able to go a week without missing him as I think that occasionally, having a few days off seeing each other can be quite healthy.

I don't think you are dependent on him Covet. It sounds more like you are just a bit clingy and you don't have too many hobbies or friends. So, find new friends, find new hobbies and start to devote your life a bit more to them as well. :)
23-02-09, 10:10 AM
cewzp4

Quote:

Originally Posted by Covet [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd like to be able to go a week without missing him as I think that occasionally, having a few days off seeing each other can be quite healthy.

It's ok to miss him if you haven't seen him in a week. That's completely normal.

But yes, seeing one another less often might be good for you.

When I feel like I haven't seen my friends in a little while or I have been spending too much time with my boyfriend, I'll tell him his friends would probably really like to hear from him. So he calls, makes plans, and then I'm free to make plans. Or vice versa. Talk to him. Tell him you love spending time together but you miss your friends.
23-02-09, 10:33 AM
lesa

All the more reasons to abstain from sex until you are in a more secure (preferably serious and committed) relationship.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/intimate-forum/27908-losing-your-virginity.html[/url]
23-02-09, 10:37 AM
carl1222

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

All the more reasons to abstain from sex until you are in a more secure (preferably serious and committed) relationship.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/intimate-forum/27908-losing-your-virginity.html[/url]

I'm guessing too late for that, lesa! :D
24-02-09, 01:56 AM
Gigabitch

How about joining a book club? You would be spending time doing something for yourself while you were around him (reading) and then meeting up with other people and discussing the book occasionally. it would be like slowly weaning yourself, just a little bit, from his constant presence.