Will therapy bring him back?
Ok, here is my story. It’s pretty long, but interesting!
I started dating this guy back in August and this was my first real relationship since I moved to Dallas (I had been in Dallas a year and never dated anyone). I wanted to take things slow because I really liked him. He was everything I had always looked for in a guy...smart, educated, stable (or at least I thought he was..more later).
We got along great during the 6 months we were dating. We never had any fights. We had a lot in common. We had a blast when we would go out with friends. The only thing I did not like was that he worked a lot. He is in advertising and he worked long hours some nights, but it was not a deal breaker. I still got to see him a couple of nights and usually during the weekend.
So, from August to December things were going great....but in January is where I felt him start to push me away. He became distant. I wanted to take a weekend get away at the end of January and he agreed. So, we took a weekend trip to Austin where he took me canoeing on Town Lake and we had dinner with some of his old friends in Austin (where he used to live and went to UT). Over dinner he told them how great I was and that I was the opposite of all his ex bf's...meaning that I was college educated, smart, and able to take care of myself. Even his friends agreed. They were like "We love him! He is nothing like so and so!"
We get back to Dallas and watch the Superbowl. I didn't get to see him until Thursday night because he was working late. So, we go to dinner Thursday and then we go back to his apt where we watch Grey's Anatomy....then here comes the bomb! "We have to talk.....I think you are an amazing guy. You are everything I have always wanted, but the feeling just isn't there.".....I was devastated. He proceeded to tell me that he's not sure if he is making the biggest mistake of his life....and that his friends are probably going to think he's a dumbass (because they all loved me and thought I was great). I don't even remember most of that night because I was so shocked.
We talked 2 days later. He came over to my place because I still had a ton of questions. He told me that when I left that night that he fell to the ground crying and calls his mom crying and she suggested he go back to seeing his therapist. I knew that he had seen a therapist a year ago or so but it was all work related because his job is very stressful. And he takes depression medication. He told me that he was going to call a therapist on Monday to set up an appointment and he keeps thinking about some of his friends who have broken up and gotten back together and wondering if that could happen.
Fast forward a bit….I ended up taking him off my facebook on February 14th because I could not handle seeing him updating his status and pics of him out with his friends having fun. It looked like he wasn’t hurting at all. I sent him one last email on Valentines Day explaining why I took him off Facebook. That I needed time to get passed all this. I told him that I know we can be friends in the future but that I need time away from him altogether. He wrote back saying that he understood why I was taking him off from facebook and that we probably aren’t ready to see each other having fun. He said he never meant to hurt me by updating his status. He said he was having fun for the first time that week and he wrote it down to help him move on and to let others know he was okay because they keep asking him. He said he has not moved on and that he has to get out of the house or he will slip back into a depression.
I haven’t talked to him in almost 2 weeks. He told me his first therapy session was on February 16th, but I haven’t contacted him since Valentines Day and that was thru email. It has been 3 weeks today since he broke up with me….those first 2 weeks were hell. I could not sleep and I could not eat. I thought I was going to die and I would cry. I had to close my door at work sometimes or go to the bathroom. It was hell. The last week has been a lot easier. And I think it’s because I have cut off all contact with him. I joined a gay volleyball league last week to get my mind off things and to meet new friends so that has helped.
I don’t have the pain in my stomach anymore, but I do miss him so bad. I still think about him everyday. I know deep down that he ran from the relationship because he was scared of where it was going and he’s never had a bf treat him as good as I did. Hell, his birthday was January 8th and I prepared a whole dinner for him…I even took off from work early to prepare that.
My question is….what if he comes back? Will he ever come back? Will the therapy sessions help him to realize what has happened? I know it was only a 6 month relationship but it was a very good one. No fights. I see people going out for years and years and they argue all the time, yet here I am with a guy and we get along great and he runs away to a therapist?
I am moving on little by little but a part of me is still waiting for him.
