Unfortunately, I'm going to find myself waiting...

... for a long time.

It blows to fall for your best friend. It hasn't even been that long since I fell for her and it feels like an eternity that is already biting my behind. I'm a guy, she's a girl. We've been best friends for about 5 years and I've never had a better person in my life. Last summer, I fell for her. I told her, she was awkward about it for a night, but came to her personal senses and realized our friendship was too strong for me telling her that to ruin it. We're better than ever and she believes I am over her, which I am not.

Lately, she's been giving me weird signals. She absolutely hates when I have a girl in my life. She gets jealous and tells me jokingly, but serious, "I'm the only girl you need in your life." You may be thinking to yourself, "What are you waiting for? Go for her, she obviously feels the same way you do!" Problem is, she has a boyfriend. However, it's weird because she still says "We're going to get married." She asked me on Facebook wall (jokingly), "will you marry me?" I sarcastically told her, "I don't want your boyfriend getting mad by me answering that." Her response was "I don't care, you're more important to me than him." I was floored. How am I supposed to respond to that? What is she, messing with my mind to keep me from going after another girl? What the hell is she thinking? I have no idea how to read her mind.

Last night, she wondered why I was out all night. I told her I was with a girl. Her first question was, "Did you have sex with her?" I said I did and she got upset with me saying she didn't like that and didn't want me to have sex with other girls. I don't know why she said any of this, but at the end of the conversation, she told me she wasn't mad about it anymore.

Tonight, she tells me she can't wait to spend all summer with me (we're both at different colleges). I tell her (jokingly, again), "Not if you're with your boyfriend more." Her response: "You're my number 1." Again, what is she saying? I don't get it!

She's keeping me waiting and hoping. I have the slightest hope something more will happen in the future, but a big part of me is saying I'm making the biggest mistake of my life by not pursuing other girls and sitting here waiting for something that may never happen. I have no idea what's going through her mind. Why does she say these things? I'm her best friend. Is she saying this so I don't feel neglected now that she has a boyfriend? Does she have deep feelings she does not want to bring out for the fear of awkwardness?

Please help...