Monk, anyone?

Everybody seems to have problems here concerning what to do with someone they like, how to get the attention of the opposite sex, what to do about a conflict in a current relationship, etc.

To anyone I have answered about their problems, I am sorry. If it had to deal with dating, maybe I shouldn't have answered it. I wouldn't know anything about it; I haven't had a single girlfriend in my life. All my comments are solely based on my aspirations of what love and that one girl that I've wanted to meet this whole time.

I don't know much in this area, due to the lack of experience. I know that whatever I say is worthless, as it comes from someone who hasn't even been in a relationship.

I've tried being assertive and asking girls, especially after I have liked her for a while and feel that I could have a long term relationship with her. The girl has said no every time that I've asked, and there have been many other times when I was really beginning to like her when I found out that she either doesn't like me or has feelings for someone else (or maybe even already have a boyfriend).

Things have gotten to the point to where once I begin to like a girl, I just learn to get over it. It would save me the hurt, right?

So, I wonder what monk-hood would be like, even though I am not really a religious person. My reasons are because since I cannot get what I have wanted most for a long time (or even get the chance to have it), I figure that I should devote myself to a cause where my diligence, passion, and other traits to good use instead of them keeping me in this eternal torture and these talents being wasted. It may be the way that I could best contribute to this world.

Monks have to take an oath of silence, right? That would be hard, but not that hard... I am innately pretty shy. Shaving my head would be easy... it would keep me cooler during the summer. I don't really know much about this, so I'd like to know from somebody who knows someone who is a monk.

Thanks

The thing is, a monk WANTS celibacy. That's how they can (usually) remain so. You DON'T want celibacy, but it just seems to be forced upon you at this point in time. So you wouldn't remain sane very long.

Also, just think of it this way. Every 'no' is one step closer to that 'yes'.

Actually, I'm heading out with one of my friends right now to the local bar to get a few 'no's of my own.

Rod Steele

Many people don't find love in their entire life. You'd be lucky if you fell in love once.
-Mystic River the movie

I'm not sure if I quoted that right, but it is so true.
My advice for you is simple, just hang in there.

You don't have to go for "monkhood" or someone else's philosophy or lifestyle. Just set some ground rules for yourself and follow them. If you're upset about women, take time to build yourself up. Workout, learn new skills, make new friends INCLUDING women, but don't worry about attracting or hunting them down.

I really didn't want to because I loved being with women, but i'm taking time off for myself. Not to cope with ex's, (I don't think anyone needs to exclude themselves to cope) but to work on myself for my own happiness and future. I still enjoy hanging out with girls i'm friends with and i'm not opposed to meeting someone else and if I happen to, then i'll let it be. I'm just not interested in starting a serious relationship because I need this time today for me.
I've been dating for about 5 years now with only about a one month break in between gf's. That's not alot of time to build myself when all I was doing was working at "us".

Just think about what you want for yourself. Maybe you really do want to date, that's fine. But most of all, you should want to push yourself to grow as a man and strive to reach goals more in your life today, rather than living for yesterday.

Prodigal,

Sorry to say, you'd make a bitter monk. You'll remeber the cause why you choose to go that way and it would not be honest to yourself.

Check you assesst as a male: what you got? what qualities?
Do you get enough to be accepted by females? Better tell about what you have done, how many women you approached, what they look like, read, talk, discuss, try new approaches, than think about monks and stuff.
I guess this forum is mostly to help people with love, not with other life vocations.
Keep the topic, elaborate, tell us what you have done?

He could go to China and become Shao Lin. Then it wouldn't be betraying himself since it's all about self-actualization and awareness anyway.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AmericanBastard

He could go to China and become Shao Lin. Then it wouldn't be betraying himself since it's all about self-actualization and awareness anyway.

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There is huge a difference: if you go for it cuz you want to, and cuz are are running away from.
First one is true, teh other one has bitter taste that may follow you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BBC1

Prodigal,

Sorry to say, you'd make a bitter monk. You'll remeber the cause why you choose to go that way and it would not be honest to yourself.

Check you assesst as a male: what you got? what qualities?
Do you get enough to be accepted by females? Better tell about what you have done, how many women you approached, what they look like, read, talk, discuss, try new approaches, than think about monks and stuff.
I guess this forum is mostly to help people with love, not with other life vocations.
Keep the topic, elaborate, tell us what you have done?

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I do understand how he feels. Seeing all your friends get hitch and you are all alone it sucks big time... :( none of my friends including close friend have time for me anymore. So F%$% it...no big deal...go do something on your own like catch a movie, play some games, read forum.....and so on...
Don't be sad man cheer up and I'm sure you're not the only one that is feeling this way..... So please don't give up I'm very sure you will be able to find someone that likes you and will want to be with you forever. I'm writing through experience. I'm 34 had 1 relationship about 7 years ago and never dated since so trust me man. You be fine don't have to be a monk.

Allow me to give a different viewpoint here. If you really want to live in solitude, go read Lao Tse's Tao Te Ching (or Dao De Jing in Chinese). Taoism is all about solitude and leaving society and whatever not. Something about water being the greatest thing of all as well. And abandoning all learning. Whatever. Go read it if you're serious about what you are talking about. Or you can always become some Buddhist monk or something. Or a Catholic priest? If not, just live a normal life.