A successful break up...who would've guessed?

Background: My first real relationship started with a girl 5.5yrs older than my current 25 yrs. We were together since June 2007. and broke up sometime between Dec 2008-end Jan 2009. I finished my degree and ended up looking for a job in the economic meltdown. She is so great, but i am an idiot and immaturely suggested that in order to avert a possibility of a midlife crisis affair we should have an open relationship. Whether you believe it or not i really believed this was good for the long term of our relationship (really really stupid). The way it must of appeared to her was terrible of me.

But i got my just deserts, when the date came for the beginnoing of the Open relationship - i had no money iow no job, a 4 yr honours degree, living at home still, parents are having trouble, and was working with parents take-away store. oh yeah, plus i was an oversexed overweight guy that wouldnt give her her space. hmmmm... attractive! She knew that i loved her and i treated her well. I only gave the hectic stuff, but in the end that was alarge part of the problem. But i did and maybe still do...i do...love her.

It was supposed to be a 6 month window period, but i got really jealous and compared myself to the guys, asked for all the painful details of what she did with the guy/s. Anyways, will post again tonight or tomorrow to finish up...good ending where having the right attitude might lead to a happy ending...with or without the gorgeous lovely girl.

So having no job, nothing to distract myself with other than my ex...i concentrated on my ex whom is with other guys at the same time. showering with gifts, consumed with thoughts of her, having hard time finding a job. well eventually after many an emotional torturous day, we sort of mutually agreed to break up. it was bad, my heart was broken, man i loved that girl. i was a shattered person, but i seeked help. i read a bit, gymed tried to contact old buds, did the cliched stuff...and it worked to a survivable/livable point.
then after break up, ex and i had a bit of toss in hay at a botanical garden in public space. i got a job, then i went away with ex, and it was good to point in that we had good times that we hadnt had in last while.