oh where art thou Mike

I'm back home. I'm in Moscow again, and I'm experiencing a culture shock although I've lived here almost all of my life. It's raining and the air feels polluted. I miss my boyfriend and suddenly I want to go back. I'm so scared that I'll never go back, although I know that I will go back in a couple weeks. It was so hard to escape all the problems and complications with my visa in Decenmber that now I'm scared that something will go wrong and they won't let me go back.

I keep listening to Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight because it was on the radio when Mike and I were on the way to the airport,,,it was six am and the sky was marvellous, and we saw a strip of gold in the sky right in front of us. It was such a beautiful feeling... now I'm alone and in my room and it's raining and the sky is gray... and it's nothing like it was back in Denver.

It's been over a year now, and we're still together. We've been through long-distance, lived in the same house for half a year... we've been through so much. I wonder if his feelings for me are the same... I want it all back. Want to be back in his little dowm room in Moscow a year ago, sitting on the window porch feeling the gentle spring breeze blowing through my legs and examine Mike's naked body with hidden curiosity. I want to go back in time and find myself drunk, making out with Mike on a couch somewhere in a club feeling absolutely happy and in love.

wow. I am speachless. I LOVE the way you just put all those thoughts into my head. Your great with words. You just sent me to a beautiful world in my head. geesus. I dont know what else to say, but... Brilliant !

Im sorry Killa-I hope all works out for you and your visa gal!!!!

Thanks Billy, although I wasn't really in a mood for "nice" scribbling (I am sometimes), I wasn't trying too hard.

Squirrley- thanks :) Although I don't have a problem with my visa, it's multiple entry...I'm still kinda worried.

What in the hell does that mean? Is it hung up somewhere in the system or what?

GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! Im still praying for ya!

Aww...thanks:) Sorry for the complicated explanation, I meant that I have no problems whatsoever with coming back, I'm just being paranoid. I just went home for a couple weeks to see my parents and friends.

Know how you get paranoid when you want something really bad? You start thinking that you may either die, that the plane will crash halfway through, or that your parents will lock you up in a cell. Lol