i fell for a wrong person?
i met a girl that i really like who happend to have a live in partner and a son..we're on the same company along with her bf,we had an affair that i never thought will fall into a serious matter,we hang out for almost 3 months without her bf's knowledge,we both fell inlove and get trapped in that relationship,i cant picture at first that she's willing to break her family for me so i kept on letting her go,and she kept on fighting for us.until one day she got tired of insisting our relationship.and broke up with me..ouch,my head is on mess then so i decided to win her back,just us and let her leave her bf unfortunately she wanted us to be friends after that but i cant,conflict of interest sets in.lovers cant be friends that quick or cant be at all.i know she loves me and so am i but she had a doubt already after weeks of our arguements..until she found a reason "her 1yr old baby" she cant let her son grow up with a broken family,.thats why she cant leave her bf now that was her excuse.i cant be her friend bcoz i love her i dont want to hurt myself in that way..i said its better for us to go seperate ways,but she cant afford to loose me she said,i dont want to loose her either but it should be done..until one day we came to an agreement with a special friends relationship that theres no expectation for both parties..its clear that she's mine whenever were together.and i can play to other chick.but the relationship gets worst after 2 weeks,i asked her if she can picture living without his bf,and she cant give me a straight answer for that...i just realized to stopped our affair if we were going nowhere,if we will stay that way..cos it hurts me more everytime i see her and her bf together..knowing that she's only mine when we're together and we're both stranger in our workplace.though we kissed and hug even in public where nobody knows us.it seems to me that its ok for her for us to be caught because that is where she will get a decision if somebody may caught us.its a dangerous game i know..so i came finally with the desicion to cut it off if she cant leave her bf or decide where we will lead to,she cant choose so i ended it up..now she keeps on calling me and texting me,my head cant rest,eventhough im managing to avoid her..having her around is different..i dont know if i'll go back to her and enjoy the benefits and run the same pain bcoz i love her or completely disconnect from her,wait for her and her bf to break up or what..geezzz
