How would you guys see this?

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02-05-09, 07:35 AM
petal

How would you guys see this?

There's a guy who works in my office who I think likes me. I catch him looking at me, he's tried to make conversation and seems a bit awkward, smiles at me etc. This has been going on for quite a few months. Thing is, I have grown to like him but find it really really hard to show it. I can come across as very aloof when I am actually very shy and don't have a lot of confidence even though I have a very confident exterior.

He actually left his job today and yesterday he started talking to me asking me where I lived as he sees me walking to work sometimes. I kind of felt that after all this time that he could have asked, he finally plucked up the courage as he knew he was leaving and needed to get it in quick. We had a conversation for about 5 minutes and then went back to our own desks. All today though we haven't had a chance to talk and now he's left and I feel really upset that I never took my opportunity.

I know where he's going to work so am thinking of sending him an email just to wish him well in his new job and to say that if he was bored one evening to get in touch and we could go for a drink. So my question is.....

How would you react if a woman who didn't seem to pay you much attention in work but you really liked, suddenly out of the blue sent you an email like this when in all the time you've 'known' her, you've probably spent no more than about 10 minutes talking to each other??

Sorry for the long message but I'm tearing my hair out at the moment at my own stupidity!!
03-05-09, 03:37 AM
LoveHurts09

u could just say u didnt want to date a co-worker and now that he's no longer one then u would like to see if he's interested etc.
but if u have dated co-workers then that wont work ofc and normally i would say that lying is a very bad thing but in this case, just this once, it could work.
03-05-09, 07:42 AM
steelsword

Quote:

Originally Posted by petal [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There's a guy who works in my office who I think likes me. I catch him looking at me, he's tried to make conversation and seems a bit awkward, smiles at me etc. This has been going on for quite a few months. Thing is, I have grown to like him but find it really really hard to show it. I can come across as very aloof when I am actually very shy and don't have a lot of confidence even though I have a very confident exterior.

He actually left his job today and yesterday he started talking to me asking me where I lived as he sees me walking to work sometimes. I kind of felt that after all this time that he could have asked, he finally plucked up the courage as he knew he was leaving and needed to get it in quick. We had a conversation for about 5 minutes and then went back to our own desks. All today though we haven't had a chance to talk and now he's left and I feel really upset that I never took my opportunity.

I know where he's going to work so am thinking of sending him an email just to wish him well in his new job and to say that if he was bored one evening to get in touch and we could go for a drink. So my question is.....

How would you react if a woman who didn't seem to pay you much attention in work but you really liked, suddenly out of the blue sent you an email like this when in all the time you've 'known' her, you've probably spent no more than about 10 minutes talking to each other??

Sorry for the long message but I'm tearing my hair out at the moment at my own stupidity!!

I was in a similar situation to you a couple years ago, except I was the guy and I sent the e-mail. Turns out she was in a relationship, but she never made any mention of that in our prior conversations, nor gave any indication that wasn't interested.

I think it can't hurt to send the e-mail. Best of luck.
04-05-09, 05:04 AM
petal

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveHurts09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

u could just say u didnt want to date a co-worker and now that he's no longer one then u would like to see if he's interested etc.
but if u have dated co-workers then that wont work ofc and normally i would say that lying is a very bad thing but in this case, just this once, it could work.

Thanks for your reply. I guess that could be a good excuse as we worked so near to each other so it could be difficult to have a relationship outside of work, but now that isn't a problem. He doesn't know my dating history and I haven't dated anyone at this workplace before so I wouldn't be lying about that anyway.
04-05-09, 05:07 AM
petal

Quote:

Originally Posted by steelsword [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was in a similar situation to you a couple years ago, except I was the guy and I sent the e-mail. Turns out she was in a relationship, but she never made any mention of that in our prior conversations, nor gave any indication that wasn't interested.

I think it can't hurt to send the e-mail. Best of luck.

That sucks but at least you got to find out so could move on. Life is too short to worry about what he might think I guess and like you, if he's not available or interested (which judging from his behaviour towards me I really dont think that's the case) then at least I can lay this one to rest.
04-05-09, 06:55 AM
swift08

I wish more females were this aggressive, it makes things easy.

He is clearly showing interest, the least you can do is meet him half way. Express yourself.
06-07-09, 01:14 AM
petal

Bit of an old post but just wanted to give an update.

I contacted this guy on email to say hello and if he saw me around to say hi, he mailed back and suggested we meet for a drink. We did, went really well and we've met up again a couple of times since and are making plans for the next week too. I think he doesn't want to come across as too keen as I have made general suggestions about meeting up and he is always very eager to take me up on it and has no issue about making time at weekends which is quite refreshing. We're taking it very easy at the mo and not putting on any pressure on each other. So if anyone is worried about taking a leap, just do it! Ok, mine worked out, whether it be shortlived or something more serious but I'm glad I made a move as if I didn't, I'd still be sitting around wondering what could have been.
06-07-09, 01:46 AM
damn2008

I say just go for it...you don't have anything to lose and if it turns out the way you didn't want to at least you don't see him at work anymore!
06-07-09, 02:02 AM
Bumble_bee

Quote:

Originally Posted by petal [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Bit of an old post but just wanted to give an update.

I contacted this guy on email to say hello and if he saw me around to say hi, he mailed back and suggested we meet for a drink. We did, went really well and we've met up again a couple of times since and are making plans for the next week too. I think he doesn't want to come across as too keen as I have made general suggestions about meeting up and he is always very eager to take me up on it and has no issue about making time at weekends which is quite refreshing. We're taking it very easy at the mo and not putting on any pressure on each other. So if anyone is worried about taking a leap, just do it! Ok, mine worked out, whether it be shortlived or something more serious but I'm glad I made a move as if I didn't, I'd still be sitting around wondering what could have been.

Excellent!!, this is one to make ya feel glad LF'ers ...:
06-07-09, 11:28 AM
boiler_r1

Quote:

Originally Posted by swift08 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I wish more females were this aggressive, it makes things easy.

He is clearly showing interest, the least you can do is meet him half way. Express yourself.

Agreed swift! Its so confusing and hard for us guys haha
I'd send the e-mail, never know what could come from it :)
06-07-09, 03:58 PM
petal

I'm a bit confused by a couple of the recent posts - I've already sent the email and we've met up a few times so can't get why you're telling me to go for it! I already have and I was just giving an update on where we are now. I appreciate your time to respond but think you may have missed the whole thread!!
06-07-09, 04:03 PM
Yggdrasil

Quote:

Originally Posted by petal [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm a bit confused by a couple of the recent posts - I've already sent the email and we've met up a few times so can't get why you're telling me to go for it! I already have and I was just giving an update on where we are now. I appreciate your time to respond but think you may have missed the whole thread!!

Some people are not reading the entire thread, only the original post.

Not your problem :P

Maybe they'll stop posting after this haha.

Glad it worked out for you btw. Good luck with your .. hmm.. beau? lol.
06-07-09, 10:08 PM
boiler_r1

Quote:

Originally Posted by petal [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm a bit confused by a couple of the recent posts - I've already sent the email and we've met up a few times so can't get why you're telling me to go for it! I already have and I was just giving an update on where we are now. I appreciate your time to respond but think you may have missed the whole thread!!

Yea guilty as charged....only read the first few posts lol sorry!