Its been a year

Hi
We met about two years ago. We were in a mid 30th . She was a doctor and I really did not have anything to show for myself after bad divorce and a year of depression.

As we started dating, I was still in a pretty bad shape. Mood swings, drinking, etc. She was by my side every day, helping me, supporting, trying to keep me from going too deep in my depression.

We moved in together. After a few month had passed, I found that everyday she was in contact with her old friend that she used to date and was in love with. I saw their letters to each other that were filled with love and memories from the past.

I was devastated. Enraged and wanted to leave her right then. She cried and begged me to stay, claiming that nothing phisical took place while she was with me. She clamed that she needed a friend to talk to while I was depressed and drinking a lot. She sweared that this will never happen again. I took her word and stayed.

After this occured and we dicided to move forward, I found his and her pictures and their video together.

A year later, we are married and we love eachother dearly. Dipression is gone and drinking is not a problem anymore. We are trying to have a baby... However, every now and again a fear comes over me. Fear of this happening again. During this times I become extremley jelous and suspisious. I was hopping that it would be gone by now. But it keeps coming every now and again and its tearing me apart.

What do you think is happening? Will I ever be able to let this feeling go?

is she giving u a reason to be suspicious???if not,,do not bring it up period.trust her bro,,,she married u!!!!forgive and forget.u cant let the past hinder your thoughts for the future.u got over the deppression,,and the drinking and now married and trying to have a baby.dude!!!!u have come a long way to let the past bring u down and ruin what u have w/ the love of your life.positivity,,trust ,,understanding,kindness and communication ftw in a realationship.im telling u from dude that has let the past rule his life before. get over it and trust. all this coming from a dude that just lost the love of his life(me).i hope my advise helps.

Get some therapy or counseling for yourself.

About 5 month ago, I found out that she was checking the e-mail account that she and her ex shared. That was the only instance. Nothing ever came up otherwise.

I was getting over it and were almost healed. That instance kinda brought back those bad feelings again.

Thank you Turbo. Beleive it or not, reading your reply was very encuraging. That is how I feel and that is what I want for me and my wife and reading it from someone else, helps and reassuring.

I know that everytime I say "But" or try to explain why I should be suspisious, its not the best part of me talking. and thats the part I need to learn and work on.