how to get him to chase me

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11-05-09, 09:14 PM
brigitte

how to get him to chase me

A guy I'm keen on has openly said that all his previous gf's and dates have initiated the 1st move and he's never had to chase a girl.
We are friendly to each other, and I have a huge crush on him but I'm not sure how keen he is on me.
He has initiated text messages after work ( we work together), and I have casually invited him out a couple of times which he didn't accept but has always said "maybe another time".
I'm not going to initiate anymore and would like him to make the next move, at least to know if he's got any interest or not.
But if he's never made the 1st move and I'm thinking he's not about to change tactic now,how can I get him to chase me?
Should I play a bit harder to get? What do you think would work? I'm not really into playing games but I don't particularly want to do all the chasing either.
12-05-09, 01:05 AM
lesa

Sometimes not making the first move IS the first move.
12-05-09, 01:50 AM
doppelgaenger

But most of the time, not making a move is considered being a lazy ****.
12-05-09, 02:39 AM
alovehangoverr

You're trying to get some guy to chase you? Save yourself from the time/energy/effort playing games wastes.

As for "making the first move," -- if you've invited him out a few times and he always says no.. that might be a clue about his feelings.

If you want to know for sure, let him know how you feel.. instead of trying to get him to pursue you when he may not even be interested in something with you.
12-05-09, 04:11 AM
Doc Durian

Quote:

Originally Posted by brigitte [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

A guy I'm keen on has openly said that all his previous gf's and dates have initiated the 1st move and he's never had to chase a girl.
We are friendly to each other, and I have a huge crush on him but I'm not sure how keen he is on me.
He has initiated text messages after work ( we work together), and I have casually invited him out a couple of times which he didn't accept but has always said "maybe another time".
I'm not going to initiate anymore and would like him to make the next move, at least to know if he's got any interest or not.
But if he's never made the 1st move and I'm thinking he's not about to change tactic now,how can I get him to chase me?
Should I play a bit harder to get? What do you think would work? I'm not really into playing games but I don't particularly want to do all the chasing either.

Wear revealing gear, flirt like a squirrel, and make plenty of clandestine sexual innuendos which can't be construed as such... then talk about the newest date you're going on.

Hire a professional escort and have him pick you up from work. Send yourself flowers once in awhile.

...and slip him a pulverised shard of an E tab in his coffee or whatnot.

He'll be following you around like an old man in a raincoat, no time flat.
12-05-09, 12:06 PM
Rollerderby

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sometimes not making the first move IS the first move.

OOO this sounds very deep. Do tell further.
13-05-09, 04:52 AM
Rollerderby

Also, if he has never had to chase a girl, i.e. never had to work for a girl's attention, maybe they are his exes because he didn't try hard enough in the relationships. He kind of sounds like a trophy husband.
13-05-09, 04:55 AM
IndiReloaded

Oh fergoodness sake, just tell him with elan in a good moment that you'd like it if he asked you out sometime. Then dance away with a smile & a wink. If he doesn't bite with that, then he's just not into you.
13-10-09, 10:57 AM
MVPlaya

Quote:

Originally Posted by brigitte [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He has initiated text messages after work ( we work together), and I have casually invited him out a couple of times which he didn't accept but has always said "maybe another time".

If he wanted to see you, he would. He's not interested.

When I blow girls off politely, if I really want to see them, I will hit them up at some point and say "I'm going to the Treasure Island music festival this weekend, you should join us" or, like last night, "Bob Dylan is performing at the Greek theater, lets invite friends and watch it from the hilltop while we drink and sing along." If I never follow up on it, I clearly don't care enough.

You have already made your first move, several times now. If he really wanted to see you, he would have made the effort by now. Don't mistake "girls usually make the first move on me" with, "if I don't try, feel free to think its just my personality and that despite it all I'm really into you." He's not.