Trouble cumming...

Hey so I've been having trouble orgasming for a long time now. When I first started having sex I was 16 and once I started I came pretty much every time. However, since then (so for about the past 4-5 years) I've never orgasmed from head or handjobs, and I very rarely orgasm during sex. I can orgasm when I masturbate, but I have to go through this process almost and flex my body in certain ways, etc. This all gets really embarrassing when I'm with someone new, they always tell me they don't mind and stuff, but I know they want me to, and I want to as well, yet for some reason I can't make it happen. So I was wondering if anyone had any idea why this might be happening, and even better any suggestions on how to fix it. This has really been haunting me for some time now, and I'm ready for it to be done. Thanks for helping.

Sounds like it might be anxiety related? Maybe it didn't happen for you once and you freaked out and now you get so worried that you won't have an orgasm that you don't (unconsciously psyching yourself out).

Happened to me at the first time. Yes, i was anxious. I have had a life long problem with anxiousness.

Find a better looking girl.

Take the condom off.

Lots of guys have trouble getting off from handjobs and oral. It's most likely anxiety (reaching orgasm is mostly mental) about it.

Or, you can tell her/him to stop dragging their teeth.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

stop dragging their teeth.

---

goddamit I hate that.

Also, to the OP, suggest more foreplay. Wait until you're so desperate you can't wait any longer. Then go for it.

Dragging teeth is bad. very bad.

Orgasm is about 90% mental, bud. Just relax and it will come naturally (no pun intended).

Girls should be sympathetic, many have this issue. It's probably anxiety, spend more time fooling around and just enjoy the moment. Don't worry if you get off or not, you can always relieve yourself after the act if that works better for you.

Maybe you need to be with someone you're more comfortable with?

I believe that this technique is not very common in men, but you can tell your girl put a finger in your ass. They say that man can reach orgasm easily I never tried with my boy.

Some of the Reason for not having an orgasm, this may be due to stress or tiredness. Relax

If this is anxiety related.... then what you're trying to do is similar to putting a pot of water on to boil... if you sit there and watch the water... it'll never seem to start to boil. However, if you walk away for a few minutes and do something else... you might end up running back about the time you hear the water bubbling over.

Stop worrying about cumming... or how 'weird' it is for you to cum... or whether or not you'll be letting her down for not cumming that night. As cheesy as it may sound, try to focus more on the intimacy of the act and less on the mechanics of it. Admire how beautiful she is, the lovely moaning and cooing she makes, and how lucky you are to have a sight as lovely as a woman completely wanton of you strewn out before you. Partake in foreplay more... pleasure her... let her pleasure you. Enjoy the closeness... the excitement... and if in the midst of all that... you happen to cum... then great. If not, then focus on making the act special for her --- get satisfaction from pleasuring the ever living hell out of her.

In time, you'll pay attention less to cumming.... and while you are distracted... you may cum more... as by then, you'll be caught off guard.

Give it a try...

Who cares? Less chance of pregnancy.. right?

Haha.. I have the same problem, I have NEVER came during a hand job or head.. only during sex or masturbation. Don't worry about it playboy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thefinaltuba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey so I've been having trouble orgasming for a long time now. When I first started having sex I was 16 and once I started I came pretty much every time. However, since then (so for about the past 4-5 years) I've never orgasmed from head or handjobs, and I very rarely orgasm during sex. I can orgasm when I masturbate, but I have to go through this process almost and flex my body in certain ways, etc. This all gets really embarrassing when I'm with someone new, they always tell me they don't mind and stuff, but I know they want me to, and I want to as well, yet for some reason I can't make it happen. So I was wondering if anyone had any idea why this might be happening, and even better any suggestions on how to fix it. This has really been haunting me for some time now, and I'm ready for it to be done. Thanks for helping.

---

I suggest to stop looking at it as a curse and start looking at it as a blessing:

You are able to have intercourse for a long time without having an orgasm, thus having the possibility to give your partner multiple orgasms. That's a huge bonus.

Definitely stop thinking it won't be happening. You had orgasms in the past and you will have them again. There's nothing wrong with you biologicaly, your problem is mentally so stop trying to hard to WANT one. All you're doing is putting more pressure on yourself.

Women really don't mind if you don't have an orgasm. Having sex is not necesairely about having an orgasm, it's about having a great time with someone you really like.

Stop trying to have an orgasm. Relax and enjoy it. The orgasm is a bonus. Sorta like eating ice cream and saving the cherry for last. Don't you enjoy the icecream?

Let it happen naturaly. If you don't get one, no big deal. Meanwhile, ENJOY hours of pleasurable sex and focus more on your partner than on yourself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are able to have intercourse for a long time without having an orgasm, thus having the possibility to give your partner multiple orgasms. That's a huge bonus.

---

Considering most women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone I'm not sure how this really applies. You can give women multiple orgasms without penetration.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Considering most women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone I'm not sure how this really applies. You can give women multiple orgasms without penetration.

---

Did it mention orgasm via penetration? I suggest to read that line again.

Maybe it will become clear then that he can make a woman have multiple orgasms without loosing his errection due to orgasm.

So: penetration while stimulation the clitoris, interupting penetration, using his fingers or tongue to stimulate the woman even more, continue penetration... hey.. I don't have to draw a picture.