PLEASE HELP Im going through what seems like hell

ok first off im 15 and she is 14 which seems young i know but idk it seems real. I feel like i love her and care about her more than anything in this world i would do anything for her. We have a sorta long distance realationship. But before this we usually talked every day we have been together 5 months and weve broken up 3 times. First time she broke up with me cause she thought i didnt love her and that i loved her bf. Second time she broke up with me cause she was tired of fighting with me and her sister wanted her to break up with me. Ok this last time was something i couldnt figure out. So were back together for two weeks first couple days she seems like she cares but every night she falls asleep on me. I ask her why shes been sleeping and she says shes just tired. So last night she starts talking about she old bf's and she knows how i feel about her talking about guys i told her not to do it. Well she goes on about all the older guys she dated a 19 year old then a 20 year old and somewhere along the line i call her a hor. Cuase im an idiot well she hangs up and i call her back and makeup so then a couple minutes after that idk how but i say "y dont you go marry the 20 year old doctor then" and she says "maybe i will". So i break up with her cause i get mad. Then i call her about 100 times through the whole night and she finally awnsers and she cut herself and says she loves me but doesnt want to deal with it anymore. So i BEG her to take me back like i did the last 3 times we broke up. I just feel like im the only one that cares cause im the only one who tries to get back together ever. So she says she loves me and hangs up the phone cause her dad came in. In the morning she calls me i try and beg for her to take me back but i think i was making her start to cry cause she was on the bus and she said she had to go but idk. Then she gets her phone taken away so she calls me from her dads phone and tells me she got her phone taken away and tells me about her day like she usually does then says she loves me and i started to ask her about us before she went and she said she couldnt talk about it cause her sister.

I just want to know if i should try and get her back. Good things are she makes me happy, i would do anything for her, i care about her and love her to death.

Bad things are that sometimes i feel like she doesnt care. I think its cause i expect to much from her but idk. She never tries to make up with me. I always have to beg her. I dont think i could get over her.

What do you think i should do?

Stay in school, don't be a fool.

Just say no to drugs.

Remember, you're young... and there are plenty of more fish in the sea.

Like at those esteemed fishing farms of the night... where you cast your line in.... for a price... and catch yourself a trout... and if you can afford it, two on the same line.

lol i know im young but idk i just want to give it another try cause i sorta feel like it was my fault we broke up

Think of it this way, there is a 90-95 percent chance that you'll not remain with this girl or your feelings for this girl will (even in a situation without the problems you've mentioned, at best).

The last 5-8 percent will have you impregnating her, and tossing the first part of your life's ambitions away...

And a 2 percent chance that you will happily remain with her without help from Mormon elders in a brianwashing intervention.

It's fresh for you, it's the strongest emotion you've yet to feel, and it feels right on some level... but not an infinite level.

Take this time for yourself.

You'll never get it back.

so what are you saying i should do?

Work out the probabilities... what you want in this life, what you don't want to happen in this life.... and plot a course... come hell or high water which you stick to.

Some things are real, meaningful.... lasting forever...

Unfortunately, I have to report that only family has been in my experience. As you grow, so does your concept of yourself, who you are and where you rank in this world.

I wouldn't change a single teenage romance I was ever in. I cut my teeth on them. Learnt about myself...

But as for those brief partners...

I only choose to remember the good... and if I can't, I don't remember them with ease.

It's amazing what 5, 10, 15 years does.

Take this time to explore life, and yourself (any way you want to take that, btw)

Since life has yet to fully blossom for you.

i still need some advice on what to do? I do want to get back together but i still dont know

Too much drama, especially for someone your age. Don't bother with her.

lol i just idk i want too know what she thinking?
someone please help

can someone look past my age and give me some advice on what shes thinking please

You have to understand age means a great deal.

Not just age, but where you are in life.

I think even you would scoff when a 7 year old start talking like you are now.

I remember feeling the things you do.

I still have the poems from 8th grade.

The key is not to expect too much, and never try to pursue anything seriously because most likely, in the end, it won't last very long.

i get what your saying. i know im just freaking out and huh i just need help

Look, were you an adult, after reading the things you were saying to her, and the way you were reacting, I'd say you were completely immature.

But I see yours (and hers) typical teenage behavior.

CHILL OUT.

If you need to vent her, vent here. But you gotta forget about this girl, she's not worth the time or effort. You have a lot to learn about the way girls and guys think. You may feel compelled to try to "fix" things, do something to prove your love to her, but these are all instinctual, your brain is hopped up on all sorts of chemicals right now that you haven't figured out how to manage yet.

My advice to you is stay on this forum and just read.

Or go on-line and read about how men think, then how women think. What makes or breaks relationships. Read about sex even (not porn). Educate yourself, and you'll feel a lot less overwhelmed. Emotions are tough to deal with even once you level out, but where you are right now is chaos.