How to become friends again

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22-05-09, 01:05 PM
blacksparrow360

How to become friends again

Ok this girl that I liked, well still slightly do, and I were very close for like a month and after she told me we were only going to be friends I didn't exactly take that a good way. We got into it a few times the last two weeks over that and now we don't talk like we used to.

I miss talking to this girl and would still like to talk with her but don't know how to salvage friendship. We talked for like a week without problems but recently she seems to have stopped responding to my texts. Seeing that made me wan to ask her what changed because I know she liked me back because she said it but now she Denys it. Ever since then we have a lt of friction but I really do want to be friends if it is possible.
22-05-09, 02:20 PM
Houdini

If I were you, I would give her some space. She's probably still in a hesitant state of mind, which would require some time for her to think stuff through. If you really want her back, don't push it, leave her alone for the time being. Things like feelings and love can not be obtained forcefully.

In the meantime, you should move along and live normally. Don't make this event affect your daily life, trust me, you wouldn't like the outcome if you let it get inside you. It's okay to think about her, just make sure you limit yourself in trying to make contact with her. If you like her so much you can wait for her but if not, be a free bird.
22-05-09, 09:53 PM
Juristhea

Quote:

Originally Posted by blacksparrow360 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok this girl that I liked, well still slightly do, and I were very close for like a month and after she told me we were only going to be friends I didn't exactly take that a good way. We got into it a few times the last two weeks over that and now we don't talk like we used to.

I miss talking to this girl and would still like to talk with her but don't know how to salvage friendship. We talked for like a week without problems but recently she seems to have stopped responding to my texts. Seeing that made me wan to ask her what changed because I know she liked me back because she said it but now she Denys it. Ever since then we have a lt of friction but I really do want to be friends if it is possible.

Don't take it too personally. I mean, some girls withdraw from their love interest when they enter into a very confusing state.

like if a girl falls in love with a guy but doesnt want to, she ends up having to stop seeing the guy in order for the feelings to stop.

Just give her the space she needs and as great magician Houdini said, don't let it affect your daily life. This is too minor since you're not even her boyfriend yet.

When my fiance and I fight, I dont let it affect my day. It's just part of a relationship and we treat it differently from our routines.
22-05-09, 11:20 PM
Yggdrasil

Don't force things. Back off, give her space, let her come to you.

If she is interested in you, she'll come, if not, oh well, there's other fish in the sea.

You don't always get what you want, but you usualy get what you need (one day that'll make sense to you :lol:)
22-05-09, 11:32 PM
Gigabitch

You still want her and she doesn't want you, regardless of your insistence that she liked you back.

This precludes friendship. Give it up.
23-05-09, 12:45 AM
blacksparrow360

Thank you for all the responses! Well except the last one. Even if we don't start to date I want to stay friends if possible. I'll go with what you all said.
24-05-09, 11:18 AM
Iwanttobefree

just tell her you still want to be friends.
24-05-09, 01:31 PM
IndiReloaded

Only she knows why. Why don't you just ask her? If you two were/are really friends she should be able to give you a direct answer if you aren't too weird about it. Generally, tho, friends who develop feelings for each other, whether its one or both, are in for trouble by trying to stay 'just friends'. Usually, its a big fat lie for either one person or both.

I agree with Juristhea: sometimes a gal will cut off contact with a guy if she has feelings for him & doesn't want to.

Or mbe she thinks you won't move on & find someone else to date if she doesn't cut you off. Again, only she will know for sure. So go ahead and ask.
25-05-09, 02:25 AM
blacksparrow360

I have asked in the past what changed, as in how her feelings changed and she was very hesitant to answer that but when she did that is when she started denying liking me as anything more than a friend. I asked again last week after she started to ignore my casual "hey" texts that she usually responded to and she said same thing which is opposite of what she used to say.

Things are kind of strained right now but yet I think of her all the time and I wonder if she thinks same thing. I'm going to ask her why she is cutting me off soon though to see if she does tell me.
28-05-09, 08:51 AM
blacksparrow360

Okay I need more advice. I haven't texted this girl in three days because everytime I did she wouldn't respond. She told me the day that she said we would only be friends that she didn't want to stop talking but yet she has started to get farther away since then. After 3 days of not contacting her I wan to ask her if she really wants to stop talking. I'm figuring things can't get much worse because we barely even talk now, or should I just wait it out a little longer and see what she may do?
28-05-09, 09:28 AM
traveler

I was in a similar situation as you and I just can tell you that you need to be strong, is hard but is best thing to do, wait 'til she talks to you.
28-05-09, 10:29 AM
Tim Jones

Let me explain what you really are saying..... You want to keep the door open... Many times this is good, but in your case I think it is time for a dose of cold hard reality..

In short... You are broken up with her, and you need to accept that the two of you will never been back together again. Only after this process finally runs its course could you ever be friends with her again. Until that time, you will continue to try to pursue her like a lone lost puppy which she will see from a million miles away. So you know, that is the real reason why she does not want to be your friend right now...
28-05-09, 02:03 PM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim Jones [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are broken up with her, and you need to accept that the two of you will never been back together again. Only after this process finally runs its course could you ever be friends with her again. Until that time, you will continue to try to pursue her like a lone lost puppy which she will see from a million miles away. So you know, that is the real reason why she does not want to be your friend right now...

Exactly^. Or, in other words, the post you chose to ignore:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You still want her and she doesn't want you, regardless of your insistence that she liked you back.

This precludes friendship. Give it up.

It may not preclude YOUR wanting to be friends (big lie, you want more). But it does preclude her wanting to be friends with you.

You are just going to have to suck this one up as lost, doll. Sorry.
07-06-09, 02:41 PM
damn2008

Just leave her alone man...if a friendship is meant to be, it'll be meant to be.

I asked out a girl I was friends with for a while and she turned me down. Even told me a bunch of reasons why I wasn't her type (Main one according to her was that she liked dating older men and I was 3 years younger). It was cool, I didn't push the issue.

We kept some distance for a while and then started talking again. We even talked about when I asked her out and she thought I hated her for turning me down. I said "No, I don't hold petty grudges over stupid stuff like that...you're still my friend"...and honestly,I felt the truth there...I did see her then as a friend and not a romantic interest anymore. We're still friends to this day.