The past is coming back to haunt me!!
Hi,
Ok I know some people are going to be really really mean to me but I could really do with out being called a bitch/slut/whore etc right now.
About 6/7 months ago thing between me and my boyfriend were not good. When he went out alone with the boys he would get drunk and phone me up to dump me which was very upsetting.
Anyway one night he did this and I was at a house party I got really drunk and I think ended up telling one my male friend (James) that I love him I definatly said something stupid alone those lines anyway, its all very blurry. But like its is true I love him as a friend, he is a really sweet guy and has been one of my best friend for around 3 years, although at the times I know he has wanted more but I have never been interested in him like that.
Anyway he is very shy so when I text him a few days later saying I was just drunk and having trouble with my bf can we just forget about it and never speak of it again he said sure.
I told my best friend (Sara) what happened I needed to talk to someone I felt awful for what I had done!! Sara and James are now boyfriend/girlfriend (I set them up) for around 3 months. Yesterday she totally ignored me and wouldnt tell me what was wrong for hours. Eventually she told me, she said, 'You never told me that you kissed James that night'. If I did I really dont remember. I feel really really really really bad, everything is great with my boyfriend now, after around 2 bad months we sorted everything out and everything is great now, we recently had out 2 year anniversary. But Sara wont talk to me she says I betrayed her by not telling her about the kiss at the time, as I have said to her I dont know how many times over the past day I had no reason not to tell her at the time, she barely even knew James then. If I remembered it I would have told her as I would have (as I feel now) felt 100 times worse.
James says he just told her in conversation, but he never said it to me before! I want her to believe me that I didnt 'lie' to her on purpose I really dont think she would be this angry with me if he hadnt turned out to be her boyfriend! But worst of all is what I have done to my boyfriend I feel awful I love him so so so much and this would break his heart. I am though pretty sure some of his drunken midnight dumpings must have been so he could be with other girls, its all a bit suspicious but I really dont want to know about it if he was. But that is not the point, I cant believe I have done this, I am so against cheating. And I hate that my best friend thinks I didnt tell her on purpose.
I guess I am just a bitch :(
