Feeling sorry for myself please help

Hi my name is Tom,
Any girl Ive ever gone out with my dad has told me treat the girl like you wold have liked your sister to have been treated (had she not passed away 13 years ago). So Ive alway been brought up to want to be the best boyfriend in the world and Im a pretty sensitive guy who wears my heart on my sleeve at the age of 23. I met this girl I thought was way too beautiful for me and she dresses really well and a friend set us up through work. This girl is more of a logical thinker than one that goes with her heart.

Anyway we fell in love and I treated her like a queen for a year. All her friends and family approved and so did mine we were the perfect couple but wedid have our odd disagreement. I would consider myself a gentle giant where I am in no way macho and also in no way a pansy but Im a big guy who always looks for a way out of a fight.

So my ex was living in my city 300 miles from her own city since a year ago when she decided to come here and do a year long masters at university. When we did have the odd argument she is very very headstrong and with a few drinks in us it would result in her being what Id consider uncompromising and I would end up raising my voice to her which as I already know is unacceptable but it happens in the heat of arguments it doesnt mean Iloved her any less. Anyway we had an argument a week ago where I was trying to protect her from a fight that was going to happen outside a bar and she wouldnt walk the other way because she didnt know how worried I was about something kicking off. In a way she felt invincible with the few drinks that she had and wasnt seeing things from my point of view. I ended up raising my voice to her to beg and emplore her to walk the other way but she viewed this as intimidating and a god reason to end the relationship the next day when we had sobered up.

I am in no way saying me shouting at someone I love is okay lets get that out of the way. But if you take into account over the last year the arguments we had were about 2% of our time and the good times we had was 98% of our time. I am only the second guy she has ever loved and she said I was the best boyfriend she ever had so therefore I just cantbelieve two people who are so in love cant find a way to over come this what I would call a speed bump? I tred to give her a few days and go back and see her.

She was upset and I asked why? She told me because none of us wanted this to happen. I said well why does it have to happen, we're both adults, couples have gone through a lot worse and not had as much going for them as us and theyre still together. She said I dont understand the magnitude of how bad I made her feel when we argued. She told me shes used to being in a relationship where they can argue sit down talk it out and then apologise. The only difference between me and her is that it would become more heated before we'd sit down and sort it out but you also have the other differences that I supposedly meant more to her than these previous guys. As I said I loved the girl and in no way ever wanted to make her feel that way and while being stubborn to someone isnt as intimidating or as bad as someone raising their voice to you what happened happened and I never thought it would come to this where Id lose the one I love so much. I always thought arguing was part of a relationship and maybe better communication was something we could work on.

I said theres no excuse for us not being able to work this out and everyone was shocked and didnt want to see us end except for her, 50% of the people who matter in the entire situation.

Now that her degree has ended she is moving 300 miles away in 3 weeks time and we have agreed to be friends but the truth is I might never ever see her again. Last week before we went out that night we were living a dream and so in love. The next day it was like I was living a nightmare and couldnt even talk to the girl I could have cuddled, kissed, shared mylove with the night before. I feel like Im in a straight jacket.:P We were set to goto Asia to teach English after she moved home with her family for 2 months to save money and not have to pay rent but this argument just made her feel like we cant get over this and move on. She blames the situation but if she asked me to move home with her Id be gone like ashot. She told me she doesnt believe love conquers all but I am the guy who believes it can go a long way to helping you work things out. Shes a realist that thinks we've just had a huge argument and Im going home for 2 months and we cant move half way round the world together but who said we have to move round the world in 2 months? Why dont we take one step at a time and sort us out first. She doesnt want to stay in my town she doesnt want me moving to her town and she wants to get out of the country after she has enough saved not that she knows where yet but she doesnt want to take the risk of us being in a foreign country fighting. I am more an idealist that thinks with my heart and I would do anything to sort it out. Id rather sort these problems (which Im not denying exist) out with someone who Ive loved for a year and who claims to love me, rather than throwing it away to start a new slate with someone else.I know Ill find it hard to find someone who meets my standards which have been set by her and if Im to believe what she has said about em itll be the same for her. I just cant believe this has to be the end if we're asin love as I know we are and she says we are. I have tried to comeup with every solution but as the relist thinking with her head and not with her heart she cant logically see it working out and then theres me as the idealist with my heart instead of my head is like nothing can break us up.

The way I view her outlook on the relationship is she's in the desert and she comes acorss a jug of ice cold water. She notices something in the water and decides to throw the jug away because she of spotting the hair. Its like our relationship. We both want to be together and okay wee had a few hairy moments but trust me the good times have been so amazing for her as for me and its like throwing something so good away because of something which could be worked on.

I know I may have made her not feel the best when I raised my voice or even when I didnt but she still felt we couldnt have a proper argument but I also know I wasnt a bad boyfriend to her at all. She was my life for one year and now there is this big gaping hole where she usedto be in mylife. It just feels so unfair that while I gave her everything over the last year and would do for another year she feels because we cant argue properly its irreconcilable. I know shes moving away and she has bigger plans but she wouldnt even leave me move with her. Itslike she doesnt want to sort it out but whenI confronted her a few days after the break up and asked her she really wouldnt lie because now shes like whats the point? She said it was because of the way she felt when we argued.

I started writing this to get advice of how to move on because although Ive been in this position of a break up before and know it does get easier right now it feels like even after giving my all and her loving me its still wasnt enough and my world is coming tumbling down around me. I just dont see how things addup and its like putting love + love together and it being 2+2=5. Iama firm believer love conquers most things and this shouldnt have been something that prevented two people in love like me and my ex being together. I know I have to accept it but I just wanted to get it all out here and maybe someone else maybe going throught he same thing and realise that there is some other sad act out there aswell. I couldnt say a bad word about her I still love her too much and now I have to move on. Lets just hope things get easier but then again they usually do.

I hope to hear anyones views on this soon and sorry for making it so long I had so much to get out there.

Tom