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I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how I can rekindle things with my fiance and I. We're way past that "infatuation" period and used to eachother but I always reminisce in my mind about those days when we first started dating. How can I spice things up both romantically and physically with him?
I don't think anyone will be able to give you a good advice on this because different things work for different people. Start with little things that you know he likes. After that you will have to rely on your intimate knowledge of him as an individual, knowledge of what he likes, what turns him on and on your preparedness to show willingness and understanding.
Try to remember how you acted towards you fiancee when you first started dating eachother. How excited you were, how you would do all those little things for your fiancee. How you would make little compliments and encourage your fiancee, how you'd court and date.
Simple eh?
I'm not speaking from experience, but I think that just sounds like a great way to make you bitter about the lost "romance". One of the hardest lessons to learn is that you need to cherish your memories but never try to recreate them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I would say it's better to think of what is special about your relationship now and try to capitalize on that. Think about how much better you know each other now, how he's supported you, loved you, etc - things you had to build with each other.
I disagree, many couples after their 'dating and honeymoon phase' start taking their partner for granted and stop doing all the little stuff they used to do. Then all of the sudden, the 'spark' is gone.Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you have to recreate "something", doesn't it imply that "something" was lost somewhere along the road?
It happens before either of you realize it. It sneaks up on you silently. It is the silent killer of relationships and many couples do not realize the danger until it is too late.
What is this relationship killer? Complacency. Complacency, if allowed to grow unchecked, can put out the flame of passion that is a key ingredient in a successful relationship.
Let's face it, relationships and marriage are a challenge… perhaps one of life's greatest challenges. We need ways to enrich the love in our relationships. We also need ways to help our spouse or partner grow in love.
Realize that the spark didn't go out over night. Similarly, it will take some time for the spark to return. However, with a little bit of effort on your part by using the suggestions below you will play a vital role in bringing back that spark in no time.
Successful relationships are successful because the two partners work on their relationship everyday. If you are married, on your wedding day you planted the seeds of love and now you have to tender to them. Don't get bogged down in the day to day chores and routine of life. Instead focus on the love in your life. It's never too late to heal an injured relationship. Realize it is only human for the spark to flutter. A relationship needs to be worked at. And by starting with the steps below you are taking a big first step on your journey to rekindle the spark.
Spend time with your partner. Lavish your partner with attention and tender loving care. If you want to be appreciated or loved, you should express genuine appreciation and love to your partner. So how do you do this? Let's get right to it with some examples:
1. Compliment your partner for the smallest things. Guys, this is it. If you have to re-read that sentence a hundred times, do it until it is automatic. Your partner will never get tired of hearing compliments from you; just like you would never get tired of someone saying how much they appreciate all that you do. Within the next hour, go and give him or her a compliment, such as: "You look great today", "You have a beautiful smile". The key is that you must be genuine and sincere. There is at least one nice thing you can say to him or her today. Use your imagination.
2. Ladies, wear sexy lingerie for your partner. Men are visual creatures. What man likes to see his wife in flannel pajamas -- yes, those are sexy too but nothing beats sexy lingerie. Plus, you will feel very feminine.
3. Purchase and give a lot of small gifts for your partner such as a cuddly teddy bear or intimate item. Guys, you think that the bigger the gift, the more "points" you will get. In truth, size does not matter. Women give every act of love the same amount of points. Guys, you do not have to do/buy big things to make your woman happy. It truly is the little things that count. Whether you agree or not, giving her a box of chocolates or building her a marble fireplace mantel, both equal one point in her view.
4. For your anniversary, take an annual mini honeymoon. Have a trusted friend or relative look after your children for the weekend if you have any. The idea here is to get away from your day-to-day problems and remind yourselves of your honeymoon. You do not have to fly off to some expensive resort. Even a weekend getaway at a nearby bed-and-breakfast will do wonders for your relationship.
5. Go to events that your spouse enjoys even though you don't particularly enjoy them whether it be ballet, opera, baseball game, football game etc. Besides, you may be pleasantly surprised by the experience. Consider this, seeing your spouse happy is the ultimate thing that will make you happy.
6. Say "I love you" to your spouse and kiss him/her as soon as you get home no matter what. Go and find your spouse in the home right away when you get home. The key here is that your spouse needs to know that you love them and care about them. Your spouse is not a mind reader. Guys, you can read the paper and surf the channels after you have greeted your wife. Your wife has been working all day long and the best gift you can give her is to say "I Love You" as soon as she gets home.
7. Prepare and bring breakfast in bed to your spouse. Everyone loves to be pampered. And this will start the day off on a great note.
8. Let your children and others see you happy and affectionate with each other. As a couple, the ultimate gift that you can give is to show your children what it means to be in love. They look up to you for guidance. Be good role models to them. Your sons and daughters need to see good role models in their mother and in their father so that they know what to expect and how to act in a healthy relationship.
9. Fill your home with lots of photographs of you and your spouse. Place your framed wedding photograph in a prominent place in your home. It is said that a picture is a worth a thousand words. So have lots of pictures. Pictures of happy moments remind you that your current difficulties are only temporary and that you really do love each other.
10. Take walks in the park with your spouse. Hold hands. This gives you an opportunity to talk, to enjoy nature, and reconnect with nature which will in turn enable you to reconnect with each other. Even if you do not say much, the shared experience will be worthwhile.
11. Phone your spouse at work during the day just to say, "I love you. I'm thinking of you. Have a terrific day." Most people have to deal with stressful situations at work and hearing a loving word from you during the day reminds your spouse that their hard work is appreciated. Even if you just leave a message on their voice mail or send them a text message. They key is to have some communication during the day.
12. Buy your spouse flowers and get them delivered to your spouse's office on special occasions and also on ordinary days for no reason whatsoever. Guys, do not wait until Valentine's Day or your anniversary or her birthday or Mother's Day to send flowers -- this is not enough. Every woman loves to receive flowers. Yes, it costs money to send flowers. The bottom line is that every women loves flowers. So send flowers now -- that means today. Websites such as DozenRedRoses.com have lots of selection and make it very easy to send flowers. Or just stop by your local grocery store and pick up a nice arrangement.
13. Buy your wife flowers at the airport on her return from a business trip. People may laugh when they see guys at airport arrivals with flowers in hand, but one thing for sure is that those women will be thrilled that their guy was thinking of them. Just imagine your wife coming through arrivals and seeing other women receiving flowers and you have nothing in hand for her. So guys, greet her with flowers.
14. Ask outright for assistance or leave bigger hints when you need assistance if you are afraid to ask your spouse for assistance. Women, this tip is for you. Guys cannot read your mind. There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance; in fact, your guy will be glad to help if you just give him some direction. So ask your guy, "Would you take out the garbage for me, please?" Guys focus on one task and they literally do not see that the garbage needs to be taken out. All you have to do is ask and you will be surprised how much your guy is willing to do for you. And don't forget to say please. Guys, it would help if you show more sensitivity to your wife and anticipate her needs.
15. Express gratefulness to your spouse for the little things your spouse does for you. In kindergarten you learned to say, "please" and "thank you." So use them all the time. To often we take our spouse for granted. Everyone likes to be thanked even for tasks that become routine such as taking out the garbage or doing the laundry or cooking dinner and so on. You can apply this lesson in your interactions with anyone throughout your day and it means the most with your spouse.
Pick at least one or two of these tips and do them by the end of today. And you will start to see results immediately. Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse? Once you have rekindled the spark, you will need to keep working on your relationship with fresh ideas.
Yeah, that's what you do when dating, give your partner attention, put your partner in the center of the universe, tell your partner all those things you like and love about him or her. So go ahead, being together for x amount of years doesn't mean you shouldn't show all that love and appreciation anymore.
I've been married for 25 years and my wife and I still tell eachother every day how much we love eachother and how wonderfull we are, what great people we are and how lucky we are to have eachother. We surprise eachother frequently with little things and do 'silly' stuff only 'teenagers' would do.
As an example, two days ago, I rented a 60 minute boat ride on the river (with captain and all) for $20 and we had a picnik on the riverboat. I told her how great she looked with her hair blowing in the wind. After the boatride, we walked back home while holding hands. I could see and feel her glow. Back home, she thanked me for the wonderfull day out, held me and kissed me like a teenager. Sparks flew and the trip to the bedroom was unavoidable.
I think 25 years and still going strong means we're doing something right.
^^^ That's going to be me and Mr. Bitch in 20 years.
I sure hope your wish comes trough. It's hard work though... Then again, nobody ever said it would be easy. :emot108:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, fortunately I found someone that wants to participate in a relationship. It takes two, for sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm concerned about Noelle, though. If they already need to rekindle and they aren't even married yet, what it year eight going to be like? The guy is 24 and he already has erectile dysfunction. These are not good signs.
Noelle, you know you don't HAVE to marry this guy.
Ah.. the magic number 7...Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
There's some wisdom to that: years 5, 7 and 12 are the tuff ones.
Get through those, and you have it made.
I think my grandma told me that.
Probably an old wifes tale.. but hey.. you never know.
Anyways, getting off topic here..
Ok, I didn't read that all (yet).Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But anyway, I'm not saying to neglect the spark. I'm saying that expecting every day to be like the day you fell in love is unrealistic and gives you unreasonable expectations for the relationship.
I agree with that too. A relationship is supposed to grow into a lasting kind of love, and it sounds like this isn't happening.Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Like a fruit tree- she misses the flower because the fruit isn't ripening.
It's not about expecting every day to be like the day you fell in love, that indeed is unrealistic. It's about keeping that love alive, nuturing it, not letting the flame burn out.Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But even if the flame burns low, with a little bit of fuel, it easily can be rekindled. That's the message I am trying to get through here.
Love grows, if one fuels it. It dies, if one doesn't fuel it.
When I say, remember when you first dated, I don't mean remember how you felt, but remember what you DID for your loved one.
Another great example of this is called 'the love bank'
You have to make sure that you make deposits in your partners love bank.
[URL="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html"]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html[/URL]
Marriage builders is awesome. That guy totally knows what he's talking about.
Out of curiousity: how far is Mr. Bitch on the scale? Is he like KiloBitch, MegaBitch, TeraBitch, PetaBitch, SuperBitch????