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a woman who i really like has been flirting with me and recently asked me out.but she has had a lot of issues in her life-mum and dad split up when she was young and didnt talk,had an abortion at 18,over last two years over 10 boyfriends and 12 different jobs and i have found out today that she suffers from severe depression which she takes medication for.the woman is absolutely beautiful and very kind person though.what would everybody else do???????
be honest
i would stay clear from what your saying,but really i dont know this woman im sure she has alot of good qualities aswell but from what your saying she is abit of a nut case. If you want to be boyfriend number 11 then go for it ,but if you dont want to be involved stay way clear.
she has problems, there are plenty of well adjusted women out there. i say try to meet someone who doesn't have issues
Give her a chance and don't judge her on her past.
I agree...give her a chance but keep your guard up and look out for red flags. Both men and women have rotten luck and sometimes it can be tough.Quote:
Originally Posted by zombie_loo89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you're willing to give her a chance, you have to be able and willing to talk about all her problems and accept she won't always be there for you but that's when YOU have to be there for her. You could see her as a diamond in the rough but be careful her dirt doesn't cross your blood brain barrier, if you know what I mean.
Well, she'll have to work on her issues, preferable with professional help. Meds don't help in clinical depressions btw. The meds suppress certain neuro transmitters from firing, but they don't really take the depression away, similar to taking a pain killer when you have a headache. The headache is still there, just suppressed.
She'll have to go through a lot of counseling and that could take years.
The questions you have to ask yourself are:
Will you be able to deal with someone how is going to go through a lot of highs and lows for a long period of time?
Will you be able to distanciate yourself from her depression and seeing it for what it is, an illness, without judging her or feeling emotionally involved?
Are you going to be able to realize that you can NOT help her, nor that you are her psychiatrist?
Will you be able to spiritually support and guide her when she's hitting a rough patch?
And most importantly: are you willing to educate yourself on the topic of depression and go see a counselor yourself to understand what depression is and how you can be most productive in your relation with her, while giving her what she needs, and not what she wants? (this one right now may seem a bit strange, but if you talk to a health professional they'll explain you in detail).
You have plenty to think about.
Move on. She's a train wreck in the making. Let her fix herself before becoming involved, or you will be dragged down into her craziness.
But I doubt you will listen, so I urge you to protect yourself and your sperm from STIs and pregnancy.
It's not like she shoplifted ten years ago. She is clinically depressed and can't hold down a steady job or boyfriend. Why should he put himself out there?Quote:
Originally Posted by zombie_loo89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't understand why people try to date others who need fixing. Why can't you get your life where you want it and find someone that is in the same position. A relationship shouldn't be about you holding someone together. It should be about two people that are already together sharing their lives.