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I dated a girl for four years. We recently broke up in March. She's going to grad school next semester and we don't believe in long distance. ( 4 states away ).
I have not contacted her in the last four months. She has dropped a couple of emails here and there. Just asking how I'm doing etc. I never replied back.
Her birthday is coming up and I'm not sure what to do. Is not contacting her on her birthday a little extreme? What is the birthday policy on exes?
You don't have to do jack shit...you two aren't together anymore. You shouldn't feel obligated. If you've ignored her soo far why the heck are you going to pop out of the blue when her birthday rolls around?
You don't have to talk to her, you don't have to respond to her, you don't even have to say happy birthday to her. If you want to, then go ahead...but imho it's a bit odd that you sort of pop your head out of the sand after ignoring her e-mails.
If I were you, I wouldn't.
Ex's use the excuse of holidays and birthdays as an excuse to try and open up the lines of communication again. It's pretty pathetic.. but happens all the time.
I mean, do you really care about the day of her birth? Probably not.
Also, if you haven't talked to her in 4 months.. do you really think she's expecting a birthday wish from you and would find it mean if you didn't? Again, probably not.
Going No Contact the way you have is the right thing to do. She shouldn't be emailing you.
Send her a small gravestone with both your names, the letters R.I.P. and the dates from when you were together to when you split up engraved on it.
Just kidding, that's macabre.
Don't feel obliged in any way. You guys are the past. You owe her nothing but the memories she has.