Random

Im not good at this..
being depressed hurts.

I have tried to move on..
I have tried not to feel..
I have let myself go...

my heart feels locked.
like a cold tightening breeze..
everything seems different..
like i am looking at the world thru someone else's eyes..
I can't speak
I can't feel a thing.

The numbingness makes the world seem less tragic and far.
To see him ... to feel him..
I can't let myself go there.
It doesnt matter .. even if ... even if.. it would come true.

my mind plays tricks on me ..
the words are playing over and over in my head like a broken record.

I can't understand why things don't even taste the same.
My tongue feels dry and and thick ... stuck to the roof of my mouth...
Crying has made me dehydrate fast.

How did this happen?
How can I go on?
Why? I ask myself over and over.. why ....