So i want my ex-gf back, help me...long post

Long story short, we dated for 10 months or so, started out as friends with benefits and quickly became more. I didn't realize i was really in love with her until I lost her.

She has lyme disease and towards the end of our relationship she was taking a heavy treatment of drugs to battle it which killed her sex drive, made her lethargic among a huge list of other symptoms.

I was persistent in trying to maintain the sex even after we broke up. She maintained the sex and seemed to enjoy it, we spent a lot of time together post breakup, still slept together, still spent all weekend together.

That lasted for a while, then she went home to see family for a month or so, while she started a harsher drug treatment, and thats when the REAL breakup occured about 2 months ago, maybe little more.

She snapped at me over something tiny.

I did dumb stuff like txt'g a lot, we argued, i looked needy and clingy, we yelled (on the phone and when she got back), i just couldn't believe the 360 she was performing.

WE NEVER fought while dating, not once, up until the concrete breakup we never yelled or fought. I just didn't understand, we kind've came to an understanding and have given each other time and space....not what i want but i gave it to her.

We've seen each other twice since then, i haven't called or made any contact, we just ran into each other. She had let her wall down, everything seemed cool again, she explained to me she felt much much worse on the new drugs when she went home and since shes been back. Maybe an apology or explanation?

It's been a little over a month tho since i've initiated contact, her birthday is coming up and I plan on calling her next sunday and inviting her out to dinner.

I'm leaving some details out just so i don't scare everyone off with a huge post.

I've kept busy, don't things to occupy my time and try to better myself since the breakup, but i still miss her and want her back very much. As i said before i really didn't realize how much i loved what i had till it was over.

I freaked out some on the breakup and didn't act smoothly, but time has passed, and the past two run-ins have been pretty good.

I guess advice, on what i should say when i invite her over the phone, what to do on the "date" that i will not call a date, how to end it.

Part of why she broke up was my "pushy-ness" for maintaining a relationship and the sex, which over time i can understand. It's just in the heat of the moment, we were both actively doing the deed, and she seemed okay, and i asked her numerous times if she was okay. But i can agree to being pushy at times POST-BREAKUP.

I can answer any questions, just need help to prepare~!

come on people

Well her sex life was taking a nose dive over something she couldn't control. You were trying to keep the sex life going, and not being understanding. What do you want?

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Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well her sex life was taking a nose dive over something she couldn't control. You were trying to keep the sex life going, and not being understanding. What do you want?

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I want advice on asking her out, how to act on the "date", what not to do, i know to avoid talking about the breakup, i just want it to be a pleasant evening enjoying each other since its her b-day....Ways to prevent myself from appearing needy and undesirable!

As far as the sex, she was game when it was going on, and i was enjoying it. Maybe i could've been more understanding but its already over with. I was just trying to explain the situation. She kept doing it to make me happy, and i thought i was providing her happiness with it since she was very much into it during the process. Mentally i think it was overwhelming her after the fact, when i would go home.....but idk, i don't want this thread to be about that.

Trying to move forward, and remind her of the good times and let her know that i would still very much like her back in my life.

I could apologize for pushing the sex BUT, i don't think it should be a topic brought up on this birthday dinner.

I think you should focus on starting over and if you can't move on from the past, it's going to be tough for both of you.

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Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should focus on starting over and if you can't move on from the past, it's going to be tough for both of you.

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we have already, prior to our mutual no contact period....we agreed that we both need a clean slate and neither of us handled the breakup perfectly, i told her she would need to forgive me and let it go, and she said i would have to do the same.

It sucks because we were so great together, we never fought, it was easily the best relationship i've ever had.

I feel like this disease and the drugs have really sucked the life out of her. She's depressed, the last few times i've seen her post breakup she's looked bad....just like she felt physically bad. She's been very emotional throughout treatment.

I think if she agrees to go out to dinner, the plan would be to discuss what we've been up to the past month or so, how the treatment is going, what she plans on doing w/ regards to further treatment....how her family has been, etc....good idea? I just know i want to completely stay away from the breakup.

I had some pics developed i took of a night we had/place we went, and some pics of my dog that i plan to give her. I don't think its appropriate to go overboard on her b-day considering the recent no contact period and all.

If you can see her without fighting, then sure, call her up. If you think you might lose it, though, leave her alone. I'll bet she just can't spare the energy right now.

i'm calmed and rational now, as i'm sure she should be. I'm not really worried about us fighting, i'm positive that won't happen.

I'm just not 100% sure if she'll go, and i'm not really 100% sure how she truly feels about me anymore. I guess thats everyones issues when trying to get back w/ an ex.

I don't know how to react if she says no, normally i would try to convince saying its only dinner, blah blah....but that's being pushy and one of the reasons she left, so i need to work on not doing that. I wasn't pushy at all during our relationship, but when we brokeup i tried to talk her into staying and i think she was overwhelmed with everything else....so anyway, i'd rather try to rekindle what we had early on. Like i said i have some pics from a place we went before maybe it will bring back good memories :)

no more advice, tips, suggestions?!?!?

What if she asks me if i still have feelings and want to be together, should i lay it out there, or avoid/change subject...i think its important not to make this get together very heavy and nothing but relaxing....but if she initiates this or that, should i give in?

You should grow up. Seriously.

You're acting like a teenager. Oh wait, maybe you are one. Yeah ok. No use telling you anything.

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You should grow up. Seriously.

You're acting like a teenager. Oh wait, maybe you are one. Yeah ok. No use telling you anything.

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ummm...what

i thought this forum was for asking for advice....it seems like that is what is going on in every other thread....