I fell, but I'm willing to risk it and climb back up.

I believe this is the right forum.

Im starting to feel sick. I thought I could handle her saying she has a boyfriend. But what is funny is I think I hear God telling me not to give up yet, that there is still something to be found in her. He seems to be telling me that what I see in her eyes is the truth, she feels for me as i do for her. Maybe what he is saying

I feel like my spirit has been cracked. Like my friend, I climbed up a rock wall but fell from halfway up. I landed hard and cracked my spirit.

Battered, bruised, standing hurts, tears come to my eyes. I think Love is cruel by not providing a harness but look past that. If Love provided any handicaps, it wouldn't have as great an effect on people.

Maybe that is the reason I fight so hard for it. I want so badly to feel it that i am willing to risk my life to obtain it. That is what i am doing. I am climbing the wall i just fell from. I'm not waiting to heal, I'll climb. Battered? I'll climb. Bruised? I'll climb. Even standing is painful? I'll climb! Tears block my sight? I'LL CLIMB! This fall might prove fatal! But still I'll climb.

What drives me to climb through the pain. Only those who have fought this battle know why. It can't be expressed in words. One must experience this path to fully grasp it. Sometimes you have to take the high road and risk falling off to fully appreciate the reward at the end of that path.

Right now, tears come to my eyes. The ironic part is that I was fighting for someone's love who would lend me her shoulder to cry on and comfort me as would I for her. Now I'm at a loss as to where to cry and what will comfort me. I'll ask God to be the shoulder and ask him to comfort me through this.

He seems to be telling me that what I see in her eyes is the truth, she feels for me as i do for her. Maybe what he is saying is that while I don't have a shoulder to cry on, she might need one soon. The proof is I heard her saying something along the lines of "I like him but I'm not sure what to do." I could say the same thing but replace 'him' with 'her'. I trust God will lead me to the right path and at the right time.

I have mixed feelings after I read the post. I have been through this once and I vowed never to let that happen to me again.

Sorry about the meandering...

Now, sorry about hurting you further.

You sound so very wimpy in this post that my heart goes out to you. Listen, the truth is only there as long as you can experience it.

There is no point in "not giving up" but I can't say " dump her" too. You could do something smarter.

Since you seem to be very resilient ( your multiple "I'll climb...I'll climb" made me think so), let her be. Let her say anything or do anything. Let her lead you on with statements like " it's over", " I have a bf" or whatever. Let her go to hell.

You go ahead and do what you normally do in life. Hit the gym, take a course, work harder and guess what? Be in touch. But be in touch as if you don't really care; that you are calling since you just want to be in touch for old times' sake. Tease her and demonstrate value. Make her feel that she really missed out on a helluva great guy.

If she comes back to you, shows signs, tries too get back. You win.

If she still doesn't get it, you win.

God won't help. Only YOU can. Wish you the very best.

If you love someone set them free.

If they come back they're yours if they don't they never were.

I'm not sure its over, I saw the title "broken hearts" and thought, well mine feels like its breaking. It might not have been the correct place. My friend, who was with me when she gave me THE smile and kept looking at me or (seemingly) for me (I could tell cause when her gaze fell on me she stopped looking around like she was trying to find someone) while at the pool while she was working.
Trust me when I say I know the behavior of a girl who has a boyfriend upon strangers. She would have rolled down the window and said 'hi', instead, she got out of her car to come talk to me in the grocery store parking lot even though she had multiple infections (eye, ear, sinus). She texted me out of the blue, leading up to her inviting me to her youth group. Plus that unmistakable smile (which I had my friend pointed out to me). I must have jumped the gun on this one but only time can tell now. I sent her a text saying I like her (with more words than that though) this morning and I am waiting for a reply.
Around 8 I'll text her again (not about the same subject) if I don't see her at the pool today when i go to swim laps.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by utopianhercules [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

... Let her go to hell.

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Okay, I will not tolerate this. If I see ANYONE say something like this in threads i start EVER again, I will take action! This is disrespectful to the highest degree I know! I will NEVER tolerate someone saying someone should to to hell. NO ONE EVER SHOULD GO TO HELL FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS SO NEVER LET ME SEE IT AGAIN!
I apologize for yelling but I do hope you note that this will get on my bad side.


EDIT:
I think she was telling the truth. But while talking to a friend he asked 'do you like her?' my reply was this, "More than anything. As tears flow to my eyes." i will admit, I just about cried while driving home, that is how much I care for her. I continued and he told me that I still have a chance, i just have to traverse the obstacles.
She is the rarest diamond I have found in the rough. I can't let her go, I won't try. Once you find that diamond, you can't put it down because you might loose it and you may search your whole life and never find another like it. If you can understand that, you can understand why, even though the pain from it is almost unbearable, I can't let go. I won't let go until I have gotten that diamond to my heart, the most secure place to hold something so great.

-sigh-
In this drag race I was trying to win, I shifted up to early and blew up the engine. I just gotta throw it away and wait for a good opportunity to get another one for it.
(yes its on topic, metaphor).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you love someone set them free.

If they come back they're yours if they don't they never were.

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"The Hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."

Having it happened to me too, I did climb back the same rock, injured, bruised, battered and in pain but this time, I put on a helmet, boots and ropes. Get back up from where you fell and if after X attempts of try you still fail at climbing to the top, choose another rock to climb.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NoMoreLove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Having it happened to me too, I did climb back the same rock, injured, bruised, battered and in pain but this time, I put on a helmet, boots and ropes.

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Don't forget your parachute. It's a long way down.

Well, I've climbed down this rock. She has been ignoring just about everything I do. She says she doesn't hate anyone but avoidance is one of the first stages of hate (that I have witnessed). I'm picking a different angle cause no matter how hard I try, I can't let her go (and I've tried convincing myself that she is just a ____. That worked for maybe 3 hours)
I am just wanting to be her friend now. Like when we were just chatting back and forth.

I know most of you say just think she isn't good enough for me, that "if she is willing to do this to her current bf is she worth it?" In the words of my friend, "no matter how much she ignores me, I just can't and won't think of her in that way."