New Relationship - Major anxiety and over analyzing. Could use a little help.
Hi,
New to the forum, so many great posters with great advice I have read that I wanted to post my issue and hope to get some assistance.
I have been dating a girl for a little over a month, I am 30, she is 25. We go out once, sometimes twice a week. Great dates, from going to the theater, to romantic dinners at my house. 8 or 9 dates so far. We have slept together 3 times, and the sex was great and healthy and comfortable. We have tons in common, and while sometimes she has had to turn down a date or two, she has either suggested a different day or she said yes to the next one. She has never canceled a date, and not a single date has gone badly, it has just been great on that front.
Now the problems. From the beginning, we only communicate outside our dates through texting and emails, we've used the phone maybe once at the beginning. The conversations are almost always started by me, but she never fails to reply. And she even initiated the conversation about 2 weeks ago that we shouldn't see other people.
Here are the issues that are causing me to feel anxious and frustrated.
1) She has never asked me on a date. Not once. I am very assertive and always have a plan, and always ask her out. But I really wish she would ask me to do something, at least once.
2) She almost never initiates conversations (texts or emails), I start them 90% of the time. Again, I have been good about not over contacting her and also not let on that I wish we had more contact with each other. I don't want to be clingy, but I wish we could communicate more often. I'd say something, but she mentioned the last guy she dated was always complaining about her not be affectionate enough and being to clingy, so I avoid it.
3) I initiate everything physically. She is receptive to it all, and has never really rebuffed me. When I grab her hand, she holds it. When I kiss her, she kisses me back. When we make love, it is mutual. When we cuddle, I do most of the work, and like I said, I initiate everything.
Basically, the problem is, I have flipped for this girl. She is on my brain all day long. I am constantly analyzing what I am saying, emailing, or planning for dates. She never sees any of this, and while my stomach does flips, I am actually a very confident man, and know how to hide and control what I am feeling. But it is causing in my head, my feelings to get hurt that she isn't obsessing over me constantly. I know that is unhealthy, and this isn't her fault. This is my problem, she has really done nothing wrong, except I wish she was more aggressive with contact and communication. But she hasn't lied about it.
She has yet to tell me how she feels about me, and that has caused anxiety too. She is highly attractive, model level attractive, and she and everyone knows it. Which is a bit intimidating to me, cause I would just call myself your average guy.
All of this has caused, as you can read from me posting here, a shot to my usually high confidence. I am insecure with her, and I am not sure if she likes me, even though all her actions say she does. I just need advice on how to handle all this. Do some women just like to have the guy do all the calling and asking out? If she didn't like me, why would we be having such great sex, and why would she keep saying yes to our dates, and keep answering all my communication?
Thanks for taking the time.
