Driving me home

The darkness of the night was upon us
I clasped your hand,
determined never to let it go
the moon shone bright above our heads
shielding us from paths unknown.
I followed you with no questions asked
left behind my morals, my sanity
simply for this one incredible moment.
Your eyes shone like diamonds
and when I turned to face you
I was swept under like a tidal wave.
There was no turning back, was there?
After hiding it for all these months
the secret that I had kept so safe
was now being told upon your soft lips.
It was too late for regrets
too late to pull out of your embrace
I was a victim once again to your spell
and for once, my heart didn't care.

When the morning sun beamed through the window
I looked in awe at you sleeping soundly next to me
Could it be that this actually happened to me?
Could it be that we'd have another chance?
Silently I scolded myself for thinking ahead
that a person like you never does.
My heart sat there in quiet anticipation
as you slowly opened up your eyes
but in them, I didn't find what I was looking for.
They were hard and your tone was cold
and I bit my lip to keep from crying out
On the drive home we both were silent
but I knew what you were thinking
you didn't even have to say it
but I knew.

You kept trying to fill in the gaps
trying to console me without saying the words
you rambled on and on about our friendship
about what great it was to have someone like me.
My hands clutched my seatbelt tighter
as I looked out the window, staring into space
I knew if I was to open my mouth, I'd lose it
and I didn't want you to know that I was weak.
When we reached my house, I was numb
too numb to tell you how I felt.
Your arms reached around me for a brotherly hug
and hot tears stung my eyes.
Last night it wasn't like this,
last night you looked at me like I was your everything.
And deep inside me, I knew that I was used
even if all we did was share a few kisses
even if all we did was touch.
It kills me to know thats all we'll ever have
this one last final drive to my home.