Multiple casual dates?

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20-07-09, 02:15 AM
valkyrie4896

Multiple casual dates?

I just went out for a date with a girl from a dating site. She's sweet and everything, we have quite a lot in common and its real easy for us to find things to chat about, she loves to laugh, listens and talks equally, and is very attentive. She told me on our first date that she is casually dating 2 other guys.

Im not sure if its a bad idea to date girls who date other guys. I myself have been dating girls one at a time only, since once we starting dating I simply focus my time on the girl instead of looking for other dates.

I guess it is more "efficient" when you're dating multiple people, easier to find the right partner. But ovbiously we'd usually prefer out partners to be exclusive.

What do you guys think about having multiple casual dates?
20-07-09, 02:47 AM
Gribble

No biggie. Hell, I wish she'd keep dating casually even after we got serious. Maybe I wouldn't have to see so many stupid movies.
20-07-09, 09:54 AM
valkyrie4896

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1averagejoe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't think it's that big of a deal...as long as they let you know that they are dating other people from the get-go. Imho, the first few dates are really nothing more than hanging out and meeting someone.

If you feel uncomfortable about that then don't see her again. She's being honest and upfront about it. She's giving you the option to walk away if you don't feel comfortable with her dating other guys at the same time.

Yeah I agree that the first few dates are just for getting to know each other. She had been dating the other 2 guys for a while now, and the reason for that is she has no idea which one to go serious/exclusive with. She is afraid to make the wrong decision.

I will prolly go for a few more dates with her b4 deciding anything. Maybe I will casually date her too until I can find someone suitable who is willing to go exclusive with me.

Another thing good i can think about dating multiple person is that it passively prevents you from placing your partner on the pedestal, because you have no idea who to invest/pour your feelings in!
20-07-09, 09:56 AM
SouthwestGuy

If the two of you have an understanding that you each are going to see other people, there should be no issue.

I give you two thumbs up for being able to handle it. I dont like to compete, and I wont do it. If after a few dates she is not interested in something a bit more committed, I would be walking. But if you can do it and deal with it, more power to ya!
20-07-09, 10:06 AM
Gigabitch

Depends on what you mean by "dating". If you're just going out, grabbing a bite or whatever, then there's no problem with dating lots of people. If there's any sexual contact, then there's a major issue.

I think it's pretty simple. If you're having sex, you should be exclusive. If you're not, then you don't need to be.
20-07-09, 10:34 AM
valkyrie4896

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthwestGuy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If the two of you have an understanding that you each are going to see other people, there should be no issue.

I give you two thumbs up for being able to handle it. I dont like to compete, and I wont do it. If after a few dates she is not interested in something a bit more committed, I would be walking. But if you can do it and deal with it, more power to ya!

Thanks! Im pretty sure I will just go casual with her if that happens, it's not easy to find a girl like her. But if I manage to find a suitable girl who goes exclusive, then I will prolly let her go, I am more of a one girl guy, plus I would not want to make my girl compete.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Depends on what you mean by "dating". If you're just going out, grabbing a bite or whatever, then there's no problem with dating lots of people. If there's any sexual contact, then there's a major issue.

I think it's pretty simple. If you're having sex, you should be exclusive. If you're not, then you don't need to be.

Oh no, we're just going out for the movies, meal, chatting and flirting. Im letting her initiate most of the intimate moves first since Im still gauging how intimate she is comfortable with, its just out first date after all.

Though Im pretty aggressive in letting her know my intentions, since I want to avoid getting friendzoned, ending up as just a date buddy.

She did prefer to take things a bit slow (I realize Im acting a bit hasty) and start with being friends and get to know each other better first, in response to my intention to going exclusive with her.