this girl is confusing me bad
im in an odd situation ive never encountered before and im clueless what to do, if you can shed some light as to what i should do pls advise!
sooo, ive been good friends with this girl for several years. within the past 14ish months i had asked her out twice, and both times she turned me down, saying that she thinks it would be great to be dating me, but she just cant do it because she has a phobia of commitment.
after being turned down both times i decided to keep things between us how they had always been. during march and april this year things started to fall apart. she stopped visiting me at school(which she had done a lot in past years,and no car for me means i cant drive home to see her) and i eventually was the only one who would make a phone call.
when i got home for the summer in may i figured if she wanted to talk or hang out, she would call. its been about 2 months since ive been home, and aside from a quick "how ya been" talk at our mutual friends bday party, i havent spoken to or seen her. those 2 months gave me enough time to realize and be happy with the possibility of us never being more than friends. then she pulled this shit on me.
2-3 weeks ago she called me up(first time she had all summer)to remind me her 21 bday was coming up. she then goes on to say(while sounding like she wants to cry) she felt hurt that we hadn't seen eachother or talked in so long and that i am one of her closest friends and shes opened up to me about stuff shes never told anybody else. i explained to her why i didnt call and the end result was we made plans to hang out 3 days that week(one being her bday at the bars). she came up with a reason she couldnt hang out the first night, the second night was her bday, and she kept me waiting at home the whole night(we had talked twice on the phone during the time i prob shuold have been w/ her at the bar). then the 3rd day we were suppost to hang out i found a fun suprise on facebook. her best friend had posted pics of the two of them at the bars with a bunch of their other guy friends, who are all huggy with her. needless to say i didnt try to call her after that night and she didnt call me(there goes #3). a day or two later she went on vacation to california for 1.5 weeks, and decided to call me while out there to apologize for her bday(her excuse was she was kind of freaking out, which = she didnt want me to be around her when other guys were making their moves) but the signal was weak and i just hung up. its now 1 week since shes been home and i havent heard from her.
My emotions: i dont even know what i want to say to her when we finally do talk next, my mind is all mixed up. i feel angry and want to make her feel bad, i feel nothing and could care less, i feel i got my hopes up just to be hurt.
How i feel about her: what the hell should i do about this girl?!? my old girlfriends (before me and her started really hanging out) never meant as much to me as she does. i feel more in love with her than anybody else ive shared feelings with. it really hurts me to let everything fall apart, but i cant deny that in some cases thats what needs to happen. + we have lots of mutual friends, so if things turn out sour between us i would feel awkward around her. i still want to be with her, im fine with being only friends(if she can be real with me about stuff and treat me like a friend would), or i could walk away and never look back. im prepared and ready to do any of those 3, but the 1 thing im 100% on, is im done being a part of this highschool drama shit.
should i call her? should i wait to see if she calls me? if we get to talk how should i approach the situation?
