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All good things must come to an end, and I think I can see the end of this relationship fast approaching. Too many insinuations, moments of silence, and avoidance of issues... and I can't keep allaying the same fears over and over again for him.
Maybe it's better to just be alone... everyone else is gone... and it's just a matter of time before he comes right out and says what I know has been on his mind.
In the end... none of it really matters...
The worst thing that could happen is not that you might end up single, but to be in a relationship with someone who is incompatible. It's also the hardest thing to accept because it's tied so deeply to our self esteem. The most important thing is to not let relationship failures affect us in a negative way, like we are flawed and will never be able to have a successful relationship with anyone (even though those thoughts are so incredibly tempting).
If it's bound to end then it will end, but it will not BE the end, because there will be another beginning. So take it one day at a time and accept it as it comes. I'm hoping for the best for you!
Keep ya head up, girl ... It takes time to realize these are learning experiences. You'll pull through!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm not the type of person to wait for the end of a relationship. I'd rather face it head on. Like the way I face all my problems. I'm more of a DO or DIE person. Besides, it still amount to the same thing, suffering. However, when one gets to look back, you'll come to realize that relationships ending up badly is not suppose to destroy us unless we allow ourselves too. When you look at it in a positive light, it's suppose to teach us and makes us a more better, stronger person then what we used to be. The hardest part in failure is rising up after a fall. The question is, would you prefer to STAND STILL? Or be a fighter and MOVE ON with your life. I may fear being alone but my faith makes me strong. I guess this is why we see how people survived through the years, man's capacity to cope with stress and catastrophe has made them strong in the inside and out.
Try to go to the 3rd world countries, and you'll discovery how through little effort that you do, they will greatly appreciate it. You can see it in their eyes. Their hunger, pains, and sufferings. They hardly have anything but the clothes on their back and all they need is people to show them that their is still something good that is still left in this world and IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR. All you need to do is have the courage and convictions to find a worthy purpose then your life becomes more meaningful, full of substance.
I don't have a 'one-size fits all' approach to problems... as each problem is different and will probably require different manners in which to deal with them. Believe me... I know a thing or two about suffering.Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzy_09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'd rather stand still and be at peace with the one I love, but that isn't going to happen... and thus life carries on in it's incessant pace. I don't fear being alone... I just fear never finding sustainable happiness.Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzy_09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I have starved, I have lost everything a few times, and I did have someone to show me there is still something good left in this world... and he'll be leaving as soon as he works up the courage to announce it.Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzy_09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Isn't that the $64 million dollar question? I have plenty of courage and convictions... I just lack purpose... Right now, it's back to survival mode again.Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzy_09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Looking over life... I think all I do is adapt and overcome... move on... make the most out of so little... and work to become this 'better person' for a future that may never happen.
I think I've had my fill of this mating game... had enough of the cruelties of love... and of life in general...
I simply do not want to feel anymore... the contrasts do not fascinate, and the price of happiness is simply too high...
I just don't care anymore...
Thank for your thoughts...Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I do not look forward to the 'next relationship,' the 'new beginning,' the 'latest heart break in the making.'
I know well enough to not be where I'm not wanted... some time alone will give me time to think, to heal, and to return to my more reticent nature. Then maybe I won't be so apt to play the fool once again...
There is a part of me that believes if you are aware enough to see a storm coming, that perhaps you're living short of your potential.
Like Mish said, if it does come to an end, its for the better. You can see brewing problems and have already started preparing for what may happen. More than can be said for the majority of people. Keep your chin up.
No one ever looks forward to the next relationship until they are moved on from the previous one (this applies to people with morals). Very few people actually find enjoyment in the dating process because its a painful experience before you get it right. Apparently, when you do find your match in the end its suppose to be worth it :D
Life is a bitch eh. I know I am a lot younger than you are, much much less experienced, but somehow what you described seems very familiar to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sometimes I think I should die, but since I am not going to do it, it won't happen. There just isn't anything to miss, so why not, although there is no particular reason also.
Just.. emptiness, it has always been.
[QUOTE=Aeradalia;478401]All good things must come to an end, and I think I can see the end of this relationship fast approaching. Too many insinuations, moments of silence, and avoidance of issues... and I can't keep allaying the same fears over and over again for him.[QUOTE]
Giving up? Well, of course, it's your call.
For any future reference: moments of silence, and avoidance of issues < that's the problem: communication breakdown.
Maybe it can be restored, maybe not. I don't know that.
You are in a better position to judge that.
boobaa why want to die. if you hate your life now, leave, travel, go anywhere but where you are right now
watch this:
[ame="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6736722752013377089"]KYMATICA[/ame]
I don't want to die, I just don't care if I die or not. I am going to Europe, this evening, today.
I like your style.Quote:
Originally Posted by boobaa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
He spoke of wanting reconciliations and 'coming to an understanding'... so I'm not sure what to think... but I will give him his chance to say what's been on his mind...
Not sure where the fault lies or if there is even any fault... everything seems so undefined... I've never been good with emotions, and I'm the worst about expressing them. So, maybe I missed something along the way...
In either case, he wants to talk about it more in depth this weekend... and I will oblige him.
I was thinking the same as Ygg, D. You sound like you are giving up without a fight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
He's still in Iraq? That would be enough to make anyone depressed. Seems to me you have a tendency to being a dark cloud sometimes. Why don't you continue to keep the tone light, for his sake, and address things once he's back?
Anyway, way to hide your issue, I almost didn't read this thread based on the title, except it was yours so I checked anyway. So bump. ;)
He came back in June... was suppose to stay for a month, but extended his time here... even moved from Dallas so he could be closer to me. However, he will be shipping out again soon...Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It's not so much that I'm giving up without a fight... I'm just tired of struggling in general... and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with him... I just want a chance to relax before the next thing hits me... I don't know... maybe I'm being selfish.
So much of my positive energy does go into the relationship... and I tend to keep most of the negativity to myself... I don't want him around whenever I feel sad or angry, and he seems hurt by that, but I just don't see the point in sharing, it'll just bring him down.
Then there are times when he becomes insecure... acting as though I must be growing bored with him, which isn't the case, when I tell him so he just replies that it certainly doesn't seem that way. He wants more feeling from me... and I try to show my affections in the best ways I can. I confide in him as much as I can... I tell him how much he means to me... try to find time for him.. do thoughtful things... what else can I do?
Other times, he says it seems like I have no feelings at all... he grows frustrated with my rationale during arguments... how unaffected I seem when I receive sad news... and how tentative I am even during happier times. In regards to what has happened between my mother and me... he says "I need to get pissed off" not just go straight to accepting it. In regards to my past he says there is nothing wrong with crying, and that it is necessary... but I tell him it's just weakness and to that he usually says "you bare weaknesses when you're safe, and you're safe now... aren't you?"
I don't know what to think or how to feel... just confused...