Dear Dear,
I want you to know that despite all that has passed between us , I still love you and am thankful for the time we spent together.
I will always cherish the fact that a shy cute demure girl like you who refuses to go out with guys actually plucked up the courage to ask me out.
I will always cherish the fact that you gave me the opportunity to experience loving someone and being loved in return if only for a year or so. This is an experience I never thought I would ever have and i sincerely thank you for that.
It did wonders for my self-esteem that you wanted me, and that someone besides my parents cared for me.
I'm grateful that you actually found me "cute" a word I never thought would ever be used to describe me.
I cherish every moment we were together, all the happy times we shared, even now i look at the photos and i can't help noticing how happy we look compared to the normal photos we take alone or with others.
Despite all the craziness, I would say that the last year we spent together was the happiest time in my life. I really wished we could have spent more time together.
Of course it really HURTS that some of the things we promised to do together will now never be.
We will never honeymoon in London, will never shower together, will never play with our child together wih me teaching them how to read and you teaching them our to sing...
i really wished we could spend our lives together.... But it was not meant to be.
You know how I loved doing things for you, taking caring of you...
I wish i could be with you to look after you to protect you but you were always stronger than me anyway and I know you can take care of yourself.
I wish i could tell you to be careful at work, that I know right now there are people out to hurt you....
You are my first and only love (and viceversa), and no matter what nothing can take that away from us, you will always have a special place in my heart.
As I said before on one of our first dates, that regardless of whether we succeed or fail in our relationship , for the rest of my life I will always be reminded of you when I drink plain water.
I will honour our relationship by taking care of my health the way you taught me.
I regret that our relationship has caused you so much pain, I should have let you go earlier when it was clear that we weren't compatible and you weren't ready and didn't really want me once you realized relationships weren't easy.
But I was selfish, and I really couldn't give you up, not so easily. I really wanted you so much, and you saw that, and you were touched when I proved my love to you in various ways you demanded.
Maybe the tragedy of it was that you were too kind, if you were stronger/harder we would have ended the relationship earlier and neither of us would be so hurt now.
I forgive you for the way you are acting after our breakup, I understand you need to protect yourself, and you need to act strong to the world and if it means making me out to be the enemy (though I could never do it), so be it.
I do hope that one day you will realize that I wasn't the bad guy, that I really loved you, I just couldn't make you happy despite trying the hardest.
Believe me I tried my best to be fair to myself while making sure you weren't hurt at least financially, though some of my friends are saying I'm stupid for doing so.
I'm not sure if you cherish anything that came out of our failed relationship, but at least know that you made a guy happy really really happy for a time, and chances are this might be the only experience of love, he will ever experience.
Lastly though it will hurt me a lot, I hope that you will not give up on men because of me, and find a good husband who will really take care of you and make you happy the way I failed to.
As I made you promise once before, you deserve someone to take care of you like a princesses, someone who has the resources to take proper care of you the way I can't.
It hurt me so much the other time we couldn't afford to buy the flat you wanted, it was one of the few times I couldn't give you what you wanted.
On my part, I will try to move on, and maybe in time I will find someone else who will love me the way you couldn't love me.
Lastly I still miss you a lot, wishing you all the happiness in the world
