bringing it on myself

hi,

i posted a thread already about this problem already that just one day i thought i might as well fall in live with one of my good friends, you know you hear about it all the time, see it in movies, never think it would happen to you, i thought i would always have my feelings under controll about stuff like this, but then you know, i decide to like this guy, and i think he knows it, and then it gets worse because he obviously doesn't care, otherwise he would have already called or something, and then to make it worse i feel like kicking myself for letting me like him and he doesn't like me. i feel like crap, i mean i am also 2 years older than him, he always used to try and make me like him, i mean he always would come and say nice things and that, and now i want him and can't have him, 2 weeks ago he was just this friend, now he is this great guy i can't have, how could i have been so stupid? now i feel even more worse because i think i am going to feel like this for a while, and i will end up seeing him all the time because we party together and then there are other friends birthdays...... it is just embarassing now, i can't let my friends know i like him this much, they know i kinda do, but they don't know how much. ok, i feel worse now. xxx :upset:

My guess is when you weren't interested he was easily attainable. You could have had him any time. Then suddenly he had no interest in you and you fell for him. If there's one thing I've learned it's that this is a common female trait. You want what you can't have. Put Mr. Perfect in front of your face and have him ready to jump right into anything with you and you'll ignore him. Move Mr. Perfect into a relationship and you'll want him so bad you'll kill someone. I don't know if it's possible to break this habit but it will cause you a lot of grief, part of which you're feeling now. As for this situation. Best just to let time flow. It'll either never work out and you'll heal, or thing will turn for how you want it. Just remember how you feel now if he ever becomes readily attainable again.

thanks for that! it's not that he is unattainable. on holiday he said he only wanted me, the thing that gets me is he knows that i like him, and it seems he isn't interested BUT my best mate told me that he did also like me, so i just don't know what the problem is......

heh.. Zekk, thats me in a nutshell.. but there is reason behind the madness.. at least for me. haha, I'm really picky I guess, and when a good guy is into me, but I can only think of him as a friend, then I'm just not interested--then when he loses that interest, all of a sudden I want him, just because i'm single at the moment, and you wonder if you made a mistake before, because you know he's a good guy. So then you think you're interested. But for me, when it clicks it clicks. So thats why, even though I start having doubts when someone who liked me moves on, I keep being so fickle. But you are right about it causing a lot of grief--a lot of self doubt.

and Kel, my best advice to you is to treat him like you were when you didn't want him. Guys play the game too, and now that he knows you're interested there isn't as much of an urgency to get you to notice him.

If people are reconnoitering that he still likes you then it sounds like hes playing some kind of game with you. Or just playing hard to get. Either of which are stupid childish games no one should tolerate. If you've been direct with how you feel then that's really all that can be done. If you haven't get on there and put it on the line or else it'll eat at ya.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Zekk_T_Strife

If people are reconnoitering that he still likes you then it sounds like hes playing some kind of game with you. Or just playing hard to get. Either of which are stupid childish games no one should tolerate. If you've been direct with how you feel then that's really all that can be done. If you haven't get on there and put it on the line or else it'll eat at ya.

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well, i think he should have guessed by now that i like him, on saturday we were all at a party, i wrote him a text before saying that everyone has been spreading some wrong rumors, and maybe i will tell him what is true, he wrote saying it isn't a problem for him and i shouldn't worry. then we said goodbye to each other 3 times, each time we kissed, then his ex girlfriend was there, she wouldn't leave him alone for 5 seconds, and when we were going and we kissed again she saw and then said that her mother would get quite a shock in the morning when she sees him in her bed. before that i had asked him if they were back together, he laughed and said no way, they just get on good. i couldn't even sleep knowing he was with her, and yesterday i wrote him a text asking if he wanted to come round so we could sort things out, he never even answered. my best mate wouldn't lie to me, he said this guy likes me. i think maybe he is just waiting for the right time, he is not trying to make it happen. just waiting to see the next time we make out i guess. one mate said he was scared i would hurt him and thats why he isn't even trying. i don't get it. time will tell i guess.

It's all a game, isn't it. Don't we make it hard for ourselves?