Update

I did talk with my bf, a rather lengthy, tense discussion... which started off well enough, then turned into me meandering through the words and rambling as I tend to do when I'm nervous. Poor guy tried to make sense of it, finally had to admit that I was going on in circles... all I could do was nod in agreement. When I had finally became silent, he asked me what I wanted... I told him I didn't know what I wanted... all I knew was what I didn't want... and I knew I didn't want him to go. By this time, I was tired and my emotions were raw... so despite all my best efforts, the tears fell and I was a mess. Crying tends to infuriate me, and that brings even more tears. He seemed to find my frustration amusing as he said "Come here, and stop being silly" and hugged me.

He's visited me almost everyday since then, and has talked briefly about finding work in one of the nearby towns... but hasn't mentioned traveling. I didn't want to seem like I was goading him into staying, and so I have generally avoided the subject... letting him bring it up whenever it suits him.

We have talked quite a bit more... even had debates over differing political views, which have either ended with the 'agree to disagree' idea or in some cases, have offered new information to reflect over. Carried on in discussions over art, science, and many other trivial topics which bring so much delight, and I'm not entirely sure why. Have actually had a chance to just relax... instead of the feeling of having to make the most of our time together because it is limited. I guess we have finally had a chance to just stop and see what's really there...

I don't know what's in store... but I do not feel nearly so tense... and I do feel hopeful.

Good. Sometimes people just need to vent, and all is better afterwards. Glad you are feeling better...

in the mean time, you can post more car pictures....

raverboy

I don't have anymore pictures from my own collection... but there are a bunch of pictures here:

[url]http://www.flickr.com/photos/imagetaker1/3046161703/in/photostream/[/url]

I am glad to see that you guys are making effords to communicate. It's an important step.

Give things time and let them evolve in a natural way, without control, without pushing. Just... be in the moment and accept your differences.

That's the best I can explain.

I'm glad you're not feeling as tense. Keep up the good work.