My First True Love

We met well its weird but we did even before we figured out that we liked each other. Or maybe i secretly did but like usual i was with someone. So we hung out and as honest and well just the way he is we only hung out. We would walk for hours talk for hours hold hands for hours sleep forever. The cuttest thing was when he would put me over the wall that seperated are homes. We lived so close. We went to the boy I was with and we told him what was up with us. We finally got together. We connected. He was a little ****ed up but so was I and he always forgave me for my mistakes. I would always forgive him for all of his.

One day it was over, Just as soon as it had began. I wanted him forever but i was young stupid and reckless . One of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life. I had someone who would never lay a hand on me always honor me, respect me and give me everything we would ever hope for. All things happen for a reason and alot happend to me. Alot happened to him.

I got older so did he. I wasnt with anyone but now he was. I ran into him walking but to my dissapointment I find out he has a girl. I have been waiting for this moment for so long and the timming was all off !! If i couldve interfered i would have but i diidnt have the chance. Years went buy I write a letter wish him and his girl the best. He moved no number nothing, then he calls and im recuperating from the worlds worst hangover and i miss his call. I guess bad timming again.

Years go by and i try everything to just contact him say hi rekindle what we had. Nothing.

3 years later im at a local bar and there he is and theres my boyfriend. I have never been so confused in my life. I felt my heart skip a beat and that whole night I just couldnt stop looking! I was pretty drunk to. So was he. Bad timming. What do i do ? I go see him and it feels like I never left we walked, talked and so on but i had to leave. Bad timming. Im kicking myself in the ass if it could just have been 6 mos earlier.

You know he respected me like usual and we began to talk, but it just cant be and it had to end. Youre heart can only belong to one. My life isnt as free as his. I have always been a girl who follows her heart. If he would have left it up to me I just dunno. I wouldnt have done a damn thing about it, i know that now.

What about never knowing? Had I thought of that? All the what if's the only thing i can do is nothing. I cannot help the way i feel. I dont want to hurt anyone, so i wont act out. All I can say we will always be friends.

To him I know how you feel. Dont be mad for the way i have felt and feel.

To anyone who has felt this way, youre not alone. And its not wrong. Thats my story my first love.

SINCE ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED WE HAVE HUNG OUT, AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE I NEVER LEFT HIM. I DONT KNOW IF IT'S BECUZ I LOOKED FOR HIM FOR SO LONG, AND HE LOOKED FOR ME FOR SO LONG. WE ARE VERY ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER. wE LOVE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER, HANG OUT HE MAKES ME LAUGH. BUT THE ONLY THING IS I AM IN THE MOST UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORLD..............to be continued