Impossible to get attached to somebody!!
I am seriously confused. Ever since I've been a young girl I've been treated badly by men. I have been abandoned by my father, cheated on by various bfs, raped, and now I find myself unable to have secure attachments with anybody.2years ago, I finally find the most incredible man. "Jim" is sensitive, patient, funny, smart, and supports me in every way. He's always willing to help. Lately all I have been doing is treating him like crap. I don't think I treat him well , and it kills me to see him waste his time on me, which is why I broke up with him several times. I have told him many times that I don't think I'm ready for a long term relationship and that I don't think I deserve him (which I truly believe).He never accepts me breaking up with him and so we're still living together. I've tried the idea of a "break" or even an open relationship but that didn't work out. Now , "Jim" is talking about buying a house with me, marrying me, and having kids. Although "Jim" provides me with everything a girl would desire, I still feel no emotions towards him. I recently cheated on him , and I feel no guilt, but I feel bad that I don't feel bad. I'm becoming dead inside, and I don't know how to deal with it. Should I stay out of relationships for a while, or only have short -term relat./ flings , or should I try to work on the one I have now?
