scared of my own feelings, help

so ive been seeing this guy for 3 mos, first guy ive ever been with, im a male as well, so yes it is a homosexual relationship. before that ive only been with women and found those relationships unrewarding.

so at first it was mostly physical attraction and an attraction to his personality.

we had sex after lots of flirting etc. and continued to be casual hook-ups for a while, i felt strong feelings for him. weve been getting together off and on for 3mos + and lately ive been putting distance between us because of some personal issues hes been dealing with, he has responded by an increased interest in me and expressing feelings of missing me. hes been a lot more affectionate and expressing importance of emotional and personal connection over sex.

so recently we had our first real date, and it was great, but there was some shadiness. he lives with a guy who is essentially in love with him, but he supposedly has absolutely no interest in but he was forced into the situation for lack of better options. he lied to his roommate about seeing me because apparently he knows about our situation and gets insanely jealous even tho theyve never been together.

the next day after our date i saw him and he essentially blew me off and texted me telling me not to mention our date to the girl he was with. it doesnt make sense at all.

i know he has been hurt recently by the one person he ever loved but why wont he Acknowledge our relationship to anyone? is it to early to bring this up? i get tired of playing these games and hes very predictable but exhausting anyways.

i mean things are still developing and i am developing deep feelings for him. is he jusf too fcked up? should i abandon the situation? i really dont want to because of my feelings for him which are unlike anything ive felt before... im just scared of being caught up in some bullshit cycle.

i really care about him and i feel passion in a way i havent before, but i need this to progress to something more stable and normal. just something where i dont constantly question.

help.

Best bet would be to speak to him and find out what the hell it is he wants, he either wants a fling or something long term and it's time for him to decide, if he says his not sure or gives you some BS answer like that then tell him to dissapear as you can't sit around waiting for him, everyone has been hurt and that's no excuse... life goes on, just make sure you don't pay for his mistakes, set boundaries and don't be second best to no one...

make him understand you have a life and it's not standing still for anybody, question is not if his interested in you but if his interested in a future with you, get answers and you'll know where you stand and can take things from there, Im sure it's harder than usual cause it's your first homosexual relationship but if his not treating you right you have to leave and what's up with the roommate - lame excuse, he shouldn't want to hide what the two of you have it's hurtful and wrong and he should be making you feel secure if he wants you.

Ugh. You're gonna get crushed. Lying is just the first sign that this guy isn't reciprocating your feelings. He seems inconsiderate and irresponsible.

Protect your heart.

good advice. this is pretty much what i've been thinking and trying to ignore.

it's hard to let the dream die but i know the consequences of heartbreak, for me it makes everything else unravel and i'm just not willing to chance that.

thanks! it's good just to hear someone echoing your views.

you need to find a guy who is proud to let people know you are together. you deserve to be shown off and not kept in the background.