Don't know what to do

Hi, new here, needing a lot of advice!

My story begins last Thursday when my girlfriend of 7 and a half years, we had been engaged for 6 years. Told me she had been seeing someone else for a month, they only had coffee twice in that month and they have done nothing but she wants to see where it could go. I was devastated!

I am moving out tomorrow and last night we had a drink, i told here that i still had feelings for her, she told me the same, we had a long cry.

I now feel like i have let her think that it's ok what she did to me. She still wants to be friends with me.

She left this morning and said love you, gave me a hug and went to work. Should i Go NC or keep in touch?

I'm in a mess right now, I was feeling good about things and positive yesterday but I'm now back to being insecure. I don't know what to feel, its like i have a chance in my head, but i don't want to get hurt all over again.

I want to ignore her but at the same time i don't want to let her go, i want to fight!

I know it must be the hardest thin to hear, and I hope that when she said that to you she thought long and hard about what it was she was throwing away.

she has based her decsion on a cpl of coffee dates with this guy. Were there any signs of unhappiness on her part before this?

I think you should go NC....better for you...if she does get in contact then you have to be strong and tell her that as long as she is moving on from this relationship and persuing other people, you cannot be her anchor while she ''see's where it will go''.

It goes without saying, but I will anyway- time will heal. best wishes

Thank you.

She told me that she saw me more like a friend in the last couple of months, so i assume she has been thinking of breaking up with me for some time now.

I feel like i did last Friday now :-(

I want her back as i still really love her, she wants to be friends, I don't know if i can do that, we get along great when we are out, we have the same humor.

It's really hard to go NC, I did it for 3 days this week and was feeling better yesterday, but now I'm feeling really down again. She is going to stay with him tonight so i can move my stuff out, the thought of that gives me a sickly knot in my stomach.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

NC. She is not your friend. It's hard, but you have to make a clean break and move on. i hope you have someone to help you move your things. You shouldn't have to go in there alone.

A wise woman once told me "Heart-break is like a toxin, you just have to push it out." NC seems like a good way to help do that. Goodluck in whatever you decide.

-Ath

You have to decide for yourself! That's the plain and simple truth, because you know deep down what you want.

The hard truth--She lost attraction to you. She was attracted to you (actually a LOT, you guys were together for 7+ YEARS!!! Most relationships don't make it past 6 months). She lost attraction, and you probably felt it too (at least a little, even if you deny it). Maybe you guys started spending a lot of time watching tv, or just a little less of the energy you felt in the beginning. It's really easy to do and lots of relationships happen like this--you get into a routine and you think you have it made then BAM! Something sparkly and new comes along and grabs her attention and where are you?

Women are nuts. Plain and simple. But you gotta figure out how to work the system to 1. Figure out if you should get her back, 2. Figure out how to get her back. 3. Figure out how to not lose her again. This is your life, and I don't think all hope is lost, at least not yet. Things just got a little out of hand before you realized it. The emotions may be mixed (actually really mixed right now) but you should know deep down inside what to do.

Hope this helps :)

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Originally Posted by jonahj [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You have to decide for yourself! That's the plain and simple truth, because you know deep down what you want.

The hard truth--She lost attraction to you. She was attracted to you (actually a LOT, you guys were together for 7+ YEARS!!! Most relationships don't make it past 6 months). She lost attraction, and you probably felt it too (at least a little, even if you deny it). Maybe you guys started spending a lot of time watching tv, or just a little less of the energy you felt in the beginning. It's really easy to do and lots of relationships happen like this--you get into a routine and you think you have it made then BAM! Something sparkly and new comes along and grabs her attention and where are you?

Women are nuts. Plain and simple. But you gotta figure out how to work the system to 1. Figure out if you should get her back, 2. Figure out how to get her back. 3. Figure out how to not lose her again. This is your life, and I don't think all hope is lost, at least not yet. Things just got a little out of hand before you realized it. The emotions may be mixed (actually really mixed right now) but you should know deep down inside what to do.

Hope this helps :)

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Thanks, that is what i think has kind of happened here. We did sit and watch a lot of tv together after work. As you have said, i could only see this now as maybe a stepping stone to where i am now.

If i had a chance, being honest, I really don't know what i would do. On one hand i Really love her, but i don't know if she would do this to me again and i don't know if i could go through this again.

I have not had contact with her since the breakup, just some txt's about bill's. I'm going to give her some stuff back tonight, i'm going to just play it cool.