How to let her forgive me

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22-09-09, 08:45 AM
xchewyx

How to let her forgive me

im a guy. and i dont know if this is the right forum to ask this

i promised my girlfriend that i wouldnt never emotionally hurt her and if i did then she can break up with me or do what she wants with me because i never want to hurt her. and i did.

we got into a fight but the fight isnt the issue.

the issue is that i went back on my promise. she has told me she loves me even after i broke my promise but she says now she can never be with me because i broke that promise. I have been trying and trying to talk to her and she has been listening but she is not changing her mind.

the bad thing is that we were both convinved that we are soulmates and supposed to spend the rest of our lives with eachother.

she has been going through a rough time. she was kicked out of her parents house. her dad was beating her. ontop of that she has heart, stress and anxiety problems. She also has a multiple personality disorder.

People have been saying if she loves me and i stop chasing her then she will come to me.

but i dont understand.
I have actually convinced her not to kill herself about 5 times. saved her life well over 10 times. and also i have helped her get mental health advice and councelling.

the stuff ive gone through with her is amazing. EVERYONE has said to me and to her that she dosnt deserve me. i dont care if thats true. she is all i want in the world and it kills me that i have hurt her. and its not the first time. I would never hurt her physically so dont get me wrong. but its about the 5th time i have and she never eccepts my apoligies. Everytime she hurts me she says sorry and really meens it. I eccept her apoligy because i know how hard it is to say sorry to someone and meen it. Someone PLEASE give me an answer on how i can make it up to her.

She wont go back on her word. she says shes drawn the line. she wont let herself forgive me and i know deep down she wants to.

so what should i do?

should i give her time to forgive me and come find me?

thats the only thing i can see that will even possibly work?

any other suggestions would be great.

PLEASE!
22-09-09, 03:38 PM
FullofSighs

Im not a girl, but this is what i think.

Ok you can give it time, and she may forgive you. But the thing is, you should have never made a promise that you wouldn't hurt her, cuz even married couples who stay true to each other for 20+ years still hurt each other, its just impossible not to hurt your partner. But the fact that she has those problems will make it a lot harder for her to forgive you, and with her multiple personalities, one may forgive you the other may bot, so you'll be in this weird love/hate cycle and you'll be hurt.
23-09-09, 01:49 AM
PsychoPink

Let me get this straight..the girl has some mental issues and your friends think she doesn't deserve you because of it? How old are you?

Secondly, in relationships sometimes you hurt each other..especially when arguing. It happens. Just apologize and wait it out. She's probably just still feeling hurt.
23-09-09, 01:58 AM
girl68

You MUST be hella young.

Every single normal person who has ever had a relationship has felt hurt at one time or another. You were a fool to have even thought to promise such an absurd thing. She is a fool for thinking that you could keep that promise.

Might I add you're also a fool for believing in soul mates at your age.
23-09-09, 10:37 AM
ashwood85

Wow. If you think that you can go through this life and never hurt anyone (intentionally or not) you are so wrong. A big part of any relationship is being understanding and forgiving. Her unwillingness to forgive you for the situation, in which you obviously feel terrible about, shows that she is immature. Too immature to handle a relationship at the moment.

She may love the fact that you are doting on her so much in an attempt to make things right.

If you back off and give her space, like she "wants" then she will probably come around.

You may have done something totally dispicable, which isnt indicated on your thread, but if it is minor then her actions are ridiculous.
23-09-09, 01:23 PM
FullofSighs

Wow, I'm not a girl and im only 18 and knew the answer to that... yet i have only had 1 relationship and she cheated on me lol... o well, glad i could help
23-09-09, 02:51 PM
Mish

I think you should read this thread chewy [url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/26633-description-shining-knight-syndrome.html[/url]

It will provide you the answers you seek
23-09-09, 02:55 PM
FullofSighs

i think that post is totally idiotic, it may help in some ways, but its really just dumb to me. Sorry whoever posted for saying this, but its just my opinion
23-09-09, 03:09 PM
Mish

It's a perfect description of the OP
23-09-09, 03:11 PM
Bumble_bee

Quote:

Originally Posted by FullofSighs [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i think that post is totally idiotic, it may help in some ways, but its really just dumb to me. Sorry whoever posted for saying this, but its just my opinion

As opposed to your first Post??? just my opinion of course...

@OP- You havn't dislcosed what it is you have done 5x (cheat,lie,beat on her?) to make her not give you a chance, but let me tell you, to get past the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time, you were a lucky fool. Now leave her alone, she has enough on her plate without you harping on about how much you have done for her...
23-09-09, 03:19 PM
FullofSighs

I'll accept your opinion. after all its only opinion. neither is correct nor is either wrong. Its up to the person who is asking for help to decide whether which opinion he/she chooses to use and help him/herself
23-09-09, 03:37 PM
SAVANAH

Things will be so much clearer if yo stated what it was that you did to upset her all this time, that way we could tell you if she's just overreacting or if you are a jerk, and what the solution would be, but seems like it isn't something really major, so I'd advise you to stay away for a while, tell her you giving her space if it's what she wants and then actually 'Give her space' if she really wants you back it's the only way to make her see that, you haven't given her chance to miss you and that's what she needs right now, when and if she comes back have a long talk about this and have her assure you that this will not be thrown in your face in the future as that is what tends to happen when such incidents happen...

Also don't stress too much about this, it's life and you just going to have to deal with it, a few years from now you'll look back and think about how stupid you were and you must remember life is full or broken hearts, learn to deal with it now you going to have to sometime sooner or later...

All the best!