what to do, how to deal with it.

in my life I have never had a relationship really.... a very short one but she cheated and that was the end of that.

I am not an attractive person physically, but are deep, successful, genuine, kind, caring, warm, passionate and affectionate and have had so much love to give even though alot of people dont give me a chance or be judgemental.


I met the woman of my dreams. Older, supposidly mature, a MILF some would say.

We got on so well, SO WELL, and even wanted to get married and maybe have a child of our own (she has 2 of her own from her ex husband)


we both felt the same way, being lost, cold, alone, lonely, hurt etc.... and we helped each other, become very close and intimate.

it was hard for me to open up, and to be intimate but she always supported me, always told me she loved me, I believed in her and supported her through difficult times.


everytime we look at each other, we would smile and see the twinkle etc....

never felt this way about anyone, but only in my dreams which came to reality.


Then... big breakup, traumatic and dramatic. she put me in ALOT of trouble with the law for no reason.


I have that to deal with as well as the break up and all I Can keep seeing and saying is "why?"

she must be with someone else already, all our unconditional and pure love to be thrown in the gutter and having it on with someone...so sick.


she has been cheated on before in the past a few times but believed I am never the type (nor do I do that) in addition to talking about how I feel about things/people in general, whats wrong and right in this world and that also brought us even more closer.


Now.... every day, night and weekend for the past month since this has happened, all I can think about is her being with someone else and just... forgetting me. I could NEVER EVER imagine her doing what she did to me, and she even said she isnt the type to do this at all and for some reason, I believed in that.

I dont know what to do.

Sure, I would love to be with her again but cannot. Further more, I cannot even get a date with anyone who wants a relationship.


No one is as beautiful as her, even attractive as her.


I get one chance and proved ALOT in that and I know that I have been good and right all along, as I always asked and she reassured that everything is well and I always said if she isnt happy about anything, to talk with me to which she always said that she is happy and has never felt so in love ever in her life and that I am her soulmate



now.... cold, alone, in alot of trouble - I cannot eat or sleep.


I want her but cannot. I would like someone else too but that isnt possible either, she was open minded and mature, sensible - or so I thought.


I am scared about what is going to happen to me. such a cruel thing. cruel thing to do.

I have asked advice here before, and appreciate and value the people who have supported me. But still, these feelings wont go away for a while yet, or will they I dont know.

All I know is, I do want her but not possible At the same time, I would like another relationship as comfortable as this one, but better without the stupid games and lies.

Hey
Im sorry for your troubles appriciate that its a hugely stressful and difficult time for you right now.

For what ever reasons, it sounds like your relationship lasted for a while then ultimately ended because I guess you just were not that suited to each other towards the end. I think everyone knows when things are going well that things just feel right, the connection and the shareing is great aswell as the looks between you. In the end though that connection seems to fade the looks between us change and somethings changes within us. Sometimes like in my case your GF meets someone else and litterally decides thats the person she wants.

Its tough to lose out to someone else, for whatever reason you suspect she picked that person asking yourself WHY is just pointless. Its impossible to get an answer as there her reasons. I pushed my Ex for answers on the phone in our last conversation and her reasons were basically that she felt someone better has now come along and I was to be thrown away... Yeah that hurt and still does but not as much as it used too.

I'm sorry your going through this but your not alone in this, as many of us here all are going through something simular. Sleeplessness and eating problems will pass just keep going, but your right, its going to be a slow process for you to get her out of your system but I know you will be able to do it. Talk to family and friends, try to get the problems out into the open, Post on here, I found it best to talk about this stuff if you can.

Good Luck

Welcome to the heartbreak club. It might help you to know that you're not alone. Read through some of these threads- people DO get through this.

thanks.
I know the reason why she has been the way she has been, because she couldnt handle the 1 minor thing that I didnt approve of, and we talked about it before and she agreed wholeheartedly, then went behind my back and did the same thing again....

she overreacted and also couldnt handle her fault/guilt and with her friends feeding her poisen. i know her very well and we will always have that understanding and love I guess to some extent even though, she maybe sleeping with someone else already (she is a mother of 2)

She has had a bad past of relationships including an ex husband now.

lets just say what she has accused me of, well, I will be lucky if I see daylight again where I will be heading (without a fair trial either to be frank!)

She likes to point a lot of fingers and make excuses for what she's done but in the end, she made every choice.

I hope she doesn't ruin your life. I also hope you'll be more careful who you trust in the future.

well she has ruined my life unfortunately. only weeks or months before I am put in a trial for something I didnt even do.

My brother's wife (now estranged) is doing the same thing. You have my sympathy.

Mate,
I feel kind of same though I know he is bad, he is worst of a kind.And, I don't hate him I just know it. I told him:As a friend you're ok (cause we were friends before we start dating), but in love you suck.
And there are plenty other more handsome persons around, maybe not smarter but **** it.
You'll be ok. I'll be ok. We all (broken hearts ) will be ok.
I just wish I can skip this two weeks. :(Or month.