This is HUGE - Need Help asap.
Ok - Check it out. Long story...but it's worth the read. Need some help.
New to the forums. I'm a dude...with lots of good friends. One of these friends has a GF...that moved out here to live and be with him while he goes to school.
This past summer, he went away, me and her started hanging out...I thought NOTHING of it...we were great friends..always drank/hung out while he was around/not around. Since it was summer..not too many people were around so we were loners together..it was great...did tons of stuff together..blah blah blah. One night we were at the bars..ended up...I had to take care of her..she drank a little too much. Took a taxi home (my house)...wasn't uncommon for her to sleep on one of my couches...or vise versa. She crashes on my couch...I go to sleep in my bed. It is early morning hours she wakes up to use the bathroom I guess...and cruises into my bed...I think nothing of it...delirious and still drunk. Couple hours pass...I wake up to her on top of me...kissing me..I immediately put an end to it..she has a bf and all...that I know. Awkward..but she agrees.
This happens a few more times that night..just a little weirded out in the morning...we talk and both agree that it was crazy..unacceptable..etc. We hang out almost everyday for the next week...and basically the same stuff happens on a daily/nightly basis...Around the 3rd night or so..I kind of let my guard down and kiss her back (I know, I know..I'm a dick and could have prevented it...but I liked it for some reason).
I had an amazing week with her....but then leave for home before school starts up again. During this time her bf comes home...they fight and argue, basically she was telling me that she wasn't really into him any longer...and that she couldn't stop thinking about me.
Earlier in the summer another buddy and I had all planned to go on a road trip back home with them (her and her bf). I wanted to pull out of this trip...but was persuaded by both of them not to (her and her bf). I went on the trip...and they broke up the first night we were there...because of the "feelings" she had for me. This was a mind trip for me...but I didn't say anything because I liked her. We spent every last day together on that trip...met her parents/friends...got along/loved them. We ended up having sex on the trip for the first time...which turned out later to be the cause of her pregnancy.
When we got back...we secretly dated..she was now staying at my house at nights...while her ex bf thought nothing of it because he trusted me as a friend that I wouldn't do anything with his ex...I guess he thought they were trying to work things out. We had sex almost everyday...went on dates...went out...had an amazimg time..shared so much with each other. Rumors began to circle with my roomates/other friends. Everyone was accepting of me and her because he was a dick..to them I guess. No one said anything to him.
All of this time (3 months or so) that this was a secret, I thought it was her ex bfs right to know about everything. She said it wasn't the right timing. Two days ago...she broke some news to him that we had kissed a couple times in the past few days. He went wild...death threats...threatening to stab me...kick her ass. Crazy. This was, however, a start to letting him know about everything...but not the whole truth. I suggested she let him know when she was ready. All of this created a little Rockiness between her and I...so I told her I would pull out for a bit while she figured everything out.
Not sure what happened after that but she ended up telling him everything....about how we hooked up while they were dating...her abortion...etc. Now, she wont talk to me...he wont talk to me. Kind of stuck in a shitty situation.
Bottomline. I'm into this girl more than anything...and would do whatever it takes to make her happy. I hate seeing her like this...she's telling me to never talk to her again..leave her alone...I can accept that..if that's what she wants and what will make her happy. After all that is what it is all about right? her happiness.
This was last night...who knows what he is planning..she is staying at one of her girlfriends houses here.
What can I do? Should I do? Feel I am being pretty lame just walking away from it all. I def do NOT want to walk away from her...we have had amazing times together, just last week she said she loved me. I also feel horribly guilty...for doing that to a friend. Awefull...and I would never wish that on anyone given the situation.
Please...be blunt about your responses...I want to know. I need to know...if there is anything I can do? Shouldn't do?
Thank you all.
-Whoknows?
CBrider has it half right
When he says "You're a Tool and she's a slut." He has the "slut" part right, but you're an asshole, not a "tool." You knew exactly what you were doing to your friend through this whole sordid business, and you kept right on doing it. Asshole.
Damn, if I had been your friend there wouldn't have been any threats of violence when you told me that you'd been screwing me over. There would have been violence without any warning threats. And it would have been justified violence; you richly deserve it. So does the slut.
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What can I do? Should I do? Feel I am being pretty lame just walking away from it all. I def do NOT want to walk away from her...we have had amazing times together, just last week she said she loved me. I also feel horribly guilty...for doing that to a friend. Awefull...and I would never wish that on anyone given the situation.
Please...be blunt about your responses...I want to know. I need to know...if there is anything I can do? Shouldn't do?
All you can "do" is to learn from what you've done. Recognize that you are a disgusting bastard who cannot be trusted to be around decent human beings, and make whatever pitiful and probably fruitless efforts you can to change that about yourself.
As far as the girl goes, no, don't walk away from her. As long as you keep her under control, there's one cheating bitch fewer out there screwing over guys like your friend. There's no doubt that she'll cheat on you, too, but you deserve it, and at least until she finds her next Bad Boy
she can keep your dick wet for you. (This is assuming that she hasn't already found him...do you know who she's screwing at this moment?) Thought not)
