Second Time Around

So this is one of my first posts and I hope that I make some sort of sense bc I want to just give a quick and dirty version of this but I don't know if that will work...I suppose I should preface all of this with the fact I am not the jealous type, don't wanna be clingy, don't need someone to check in, and this is often seen as me being standoffish and uncaring--I need to work on this.
I met this guy a little more than 2 years ago, we met through mutual friends and it was love, lust whatever you want to call it at first sight, next thing you know we were in a long distance dating thing. This went really well for about 6 months, but then the bottom started to fall out and it just wasn't working. I work insane hours and travel a ton for work, he is crazy as far as work goes and also has some insecurity issues going on. The way he and I dealt with ending it was by ignoring each other, mind you this was a terrible idea and seriously screwed with my head, but what's happened has happened.
We then didn't talk for about a year and out of the blue I get a call from him, we somehow stumble into dating again, my work situation has not changed but his has slowed down a bit and as he puts it he thinks we have both "learned from our past mistakes." Everything is going really well, but a month or so ago he starts asking me why I would ever want to date him and on and on, and then a family member becomes ill and it all seemed to be very stressful for him. I decided to give him his space to deal with it all, thinking it would be all good bc I am getting slammed at work and he shuts down often (two very private people in a relationship is not a good idea). I text him every once in awhile and he responds, but then it really dwindles. After a month or so of this I am stupid and go out with friends have way too much to drink and decide to text him that I should never have started talking to him again and that he and I both know where this is going.
Of course the next day I am embarassed and don't know why I lashed out like this, but I do know it is because I care about him and don't want to make the same mistakes twice. I guess I just wanna know what you guys think, bc I know what I said was hurtful, but we have both (once or twice) said things we regret, can he and I save this?
Thanks for any advice, I know I am contradicting myself but this has been driving me crazy all day and I really can't think straight

Some of that really sounds familiar, unfortunately :-P

It doesn't sound good, it's sounds like a ton of effort is being wasted to even get on the same page let alone deal with a LDR. It's hard to shut someone out of your life totally and move on, I know, but it would probably be healthier for both of you to find someone/something much more accomodating.

why are you both so scared of eachother, you care for eachother, thats a starting point..and of course communication....start as you mean to go on....

Thanks for your responses everyone, I really appreciate it. I guess I just have one more specific question--I know, I know I am so overthinking--but is the damage already done or can we fix this; speaking specifically about the text. Thanks a guys pov helps with all of this.

Don't worry about the text :-) If it can be fixed and you both want to fix it, it can happen.

the problem with LDRs is the mistake of trying "too hard" a more relaxed approach is the only way to make this work right now, dont take everything so seriously and just go back to hanging out and being friends right now and if its meant to be it will rekindle itself.