Printable View
1) How do you tell the difference between a guy who's just being friendly and one who is attracted to you?
2) What are some unmistakable signs men exhibit when they are romantically attracted to someone?
3) How do you tell the difference between someone who is really into you and a player?
All thoughts and opinions welcome! :)
1) Kino
2) Kino
3) If he's too good to be true, he's probably playing you.
What's kino?Quote:
Originally Posted by Chupacabras [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
1) We'll make the friendly conversation a bit more personal and intimate.
2) Same as women, eye contact, little smiles, a touch on the shoulder or petting your hair innocently while we're hanging out.
3) Intuition, some have it, some do not. Some kind of do and learn by their mistakes.
Touching that seems sort of innocent but obviously isn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by JustPassing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You can usually tell by eye contact, I think eyes are usually the most telling indicator when trying to gauge when someone's attracted, but its hard to explain the nuances in writing.
Some (not all) men talk in a higher pitch when they are with women they find attractive.
When you say eye contact, do you mean mainly length of eye contact?
Length of eye contact is one thing, but I'm talking more about the type of eye contact. Usually you can tell by someone's eyes whether they're bored and holding eye contact as a chore, whether they're interested in what you're saying, interested in you, excited about talking to you, excited in general, and even, excited to be hit on but not interested in you.
Its hard to really put it into writing, but a lot of people have expressive eyes and you can read their interest level from there.
Easier cues with eye contact is, how often does this person look at you outside of conversation or when you're in a multi-person conversation and someone else is talking but he's still looking at you.
Again, could be a variety of reasons for his behavior, but this helps you narrow it down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustPassing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
1.) This isn't always the case, especially if the woman has an open-minded disposition. I've been friend zoned many times by guys who were far more apt to share personal and intimate conversations with me than with those they were intimate with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The direction of the conversation is key. If the topic is more generalized or seems to focus more on his own problems (as though he's being diagnostic toward himself) chances are he's merely looking for a sounding board. If he focuses more on your specifically, then he is showing interest.
2.) Men, just like women, do not exhibit signs that are 100% foolproof. They will have to be taken into context. Also, almost any sign can be faked in an effort to bait someone. Time is pretty much the only factor that can show if his intentions are genuine or not.
3.) A player will typically have a very generic view of you... he'll remember very few details about you, or may avoid topics involving you in great detail. He may talk more about what he has to offer or pick a topic that interests you greatly and is easy to follow and won't stray far from that. It's the guy's mission to get in your pants -- not learn your whole life history.
A guy who is really interested in you will offer a conversation that is more give an take... he'll share some things about himself and then wait for you to share some things about yourself. He's genuinely interested in you and is looking for some common ground. Getting laid isn't his immediate goal. Determining if you're someone he would want to be around (and possibly lay at some point) is his goal. He wants to know if he really likes you and vice versa.
3 is only partly true. A guy who has a good sense of memory and understanding of people has no problems remembering your personal details and discussing your interests with you. Your rule for #3 will weed out some 'players,' but let others slip by with a seal of approval.
i twist up my hair all the time it does not mean i'm attracted. when you have curly hair it's hard to keep your hands out of it.
Thanks for the views! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So, say theres all the signs of attraction (lots of eye contact, some kino, lots of questions, seemingly genuine interest in me)... but the guy is not making a move... could that be because he doesn't want to risk the friendship? Because he's still testing the waters? Or is it more likely to be a sign that although there's a connection, he doesn't feel the physical attraction?
1. easy, if we say "you're one of the boys" :D im kidding. when i am just being friendly to girls/ just wanting to be there friend, it's usually like i can be myself. you wouldn't hear me get tangled up in words, or shake up when i don't know what to say. it would be very easy to talk to them but when i'm pursuing someone who i find attractive, i first get the shy nervous feeling in the beginning of the friendship, but eventually it draws away. i'd choke up when it comes to saying what i want to say. and i'd always have some sort of gesture that i am interested.Quote:
Originally Posted by JustPassing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
2. we would ask if you want to hang out (most of the time, it's just the 2 of us). there's always kind gestures, and lightly played insults.
3. if they keep pursuing you. a player would just go to the next and then to the next. you know, it'd be no biggie for them (in that sense). usually a player would kind of want the whole sex thing, and that being very early in the relationship. honestly you could tell in the beginning by how they act if they are a player or not. 1 obvious way is that if they very flirty amongst a handful of girls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MVPlaya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hehe... I doubt they'd pass with a "seal of approval" as I tend to be quite brutal with guys... particularly with honesty. The moment I sense anything even slightly amiss I turn the tables on them and move towards topics of women. Usually they don't realize it, then next thing they know we're both talking about women we'd really like to bang.
I don't let guys get close to me if I can help it... even if they seem like a "nice guy." They're usually friend-zoned for closer inspection.
But you are right in pointing out that relying solely on that to sort out players will leave you handicapped. I have general tactics I use, and adapt accordingly.
You just have a tough outer shell Aeradalia, it's a good thing ;-)