No More Therapy...

I live about 20 miles outside of town and though I have the internet, getting in contact via the phone can be tricky as I have to rely on others. My car is out in the yard with some sort of electrical problem I have yet to figure out, so it's not reliable enough to make the 20 mile drive -- or leave the driveway for that matter.

So I missed a day of therapy, and as a result they closed my case. No more medications or therapy. When the effects of the drugs wear off I'll be back to square one again. I'm really not looking forward to it.

I talked with the lady on the phone, she said to check back in a month. I asked her what I should do if the depression gets real bad... she gave me the suicide hotline number --- lot of good that'll do me out in BFE where cell phone reception is poor anyway.

I have to admit... I really don't know how to feel about this. I've been rejected in so many different ways over the last year or so... it's difficult for me to feel surprised anymore.

Down the street I have a friend I can talk to on occasion, I have a very affectionate dog now (I've always had pets of some kind), I have a way to exercise to keep the endorphins high, I have my school work, several projects to keep me occupied, and have reorganized my music so that uplifting music is more prevalent. Also my meals are more complete and I have more of a predictable schedule now. Hopefully I can keep the depression under control.

Last night I had the first nightmare I've had in weeks. I had forgotten how scary they can be.

I'm hoping for the best for you. There is so much wrong with our medical system it makes me mad.
If you need to talk or have a question you just yell. If I'm on I will be sure to talk to you.
You please take care, and I to hate scary dreams.

Yeah...Texas isn't exactly renowned for their social services.

Unless you count church.

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So I missed a day of therapy, and as a result they closed my case. No more medications or therapy. When the effects of the drugs wear off I'll be back to square one again. I'm really not looking forward to it.

I talked with the lady on the phone, she said to check back in a month. I asked her what I should do if the depression gets real bad... she gave me the suicide hotline number --- lot of good that'll do me out in BFE where cell phone reception is poor anyway.

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Wow, they went straight for the jugular didn't they? Maybe you are better off without people like that. You have to wonder sometimes if people with that kind of attitude really do have your best interest in mind or if they are in it just to squeeze every last penny out of you. Can you find some one else who offers similar kinds of services + has some humanity?

I've been looking on the Internet but the nearest place that seems promising is almost 60 miles away. I simply live too far away from any real civilization. If I was still in Dallas, it'd be a different story.

However, I have decided to see if I can hold out for a month. The clinic did help to set up a routine for me more or less that I can adhere to that seems to curb the more severe emotions. They also gave me a few tools to use to identify my feelings, what has triggered them, and take the necessary steps to alter their effects (within reason).

After a month, I may not have a need to go back. Probably best I learn how to cope on my own anyway.

All the answers you need are already inside you, D.

You're smart. You'll be fine. I got faith in you.

Try to find a friend that you can talk to each day either on the phone or day to day. Believe me, you may not feel in the mood to do this some days but once you do, you will feel so much better for it. Try doing good things for friends and family as this well help bring you out of your shell and limit you from focusing on you and how you're feeling (i.e. getting depressed and sad). Thirdly, it's hard to see what your future could be like when you are so depressed that you can't see the woods from the trees but look at hobbies and interests that you can do in the evening so that you can: meet like minded people, get out of your environmentfor a few hours, gain confidence and meet new people. Think of ways in which you can reduce the time spent on your own, as negative thoughts can kick in and get you down. Each day, write down what you will do for the following day even if it's day 1 - spoke to so and so, day 2 - looked into local drama sessions in the evening. Do something everyday however small and congratulate yourself on getting each task done. Good luck and I hope you feel better.