Don't Deserve To Be Loved - Do I Push Him Away?
I've recently met a guy and he's really cool. He's smart, he's funny and I know his mother raised him well. He has manners and he has respect and he's everything a girl could ask for.
But I've had a shaky past and now I'm scared to give him my heart, in fact, I'm scared he'll give me his. Most guys that come along only want one thing (which they don't get) but because it's all I know, my mind set is focused that way. I don't feel I deserve the attention he's giving me and I don't feel as though I deserve the love he wants to show me. Deep down in my heart, I think I deserve it, but I can't bring myself to allow it to happen.
Before I met him, I was with another guy and although I liked him, we were much better as friends. He decided he wanted to be more than friends but he wasn't ready for comittment, he was ready for sexual pleasures which I was not willing to get. So this died out in a hurry, but although it died for me, I haven't directly told him this. I'm scared he'll get angry with me and do something to either me or the new guy I like. I don't want that.
I know for a fact I won't do anything with anyone besides the guy I like now, but I feel unworthy to be with him. I feel he's too good for me. I have so much baggage and worries and I don't want my past to come and haunt my future with the guy I'm with. I'm not sure if I should push him away or allow him to love me and if I allow him, I don't know how to?
Someone please help me =[ X.x.x.x.X