Im looking for some help on what to do but would take a huge amount of typing to get the story through. Is anyone interested in lending advice? I dont think this relationship is good right now...
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Im looking for some help on what to do but would take a huge amount of typing to get the story through. Is anyone interested in lending advice? I dont think this relationship is good right now...
Try a point form or short version to get some interest. There are several married people on this forum. Many more who have lots of generally good advice.
If we need more details, we can ask you.
- My wife and I have been together dating/engaged for almost 3 years before our marriage in Aug.
- Her family seems to come as top priority
- Her mom (father deciest) owns a local Bar
- She is always there
- Shes been diagnosed with deppression and anxiety dissorder and is on medication
- She clings to certain people that are completely untrustworthy
- She gets upset with me when I make a big deal with her being there everyday
- She claims its spending time with her mom
- Her mom is working and not sitting beside her chatting
- She acts shady often
- I work long days and hours, seasonal
- SHe is a student about to graduate in Dec
- She has tried cheating on me once before a couple years back
- She is upset that I dont "trust her"
- She has been confronted about her attitude by myself and family, about when she drinks
- She has had relationship issues in her past
- Has an STD, non life threatening
- SHe has drug usage in the past
- I love her more than anything but cant stand to keep doing this
- We have talked about counceling but neither can afford
thats a big list of negatives there.
I want you to post a list of all the positives in your relationship.
The positive is that she talks to me durring the day, text message
If that is all i come up with is that bad?
Yes, file for divorce immediately, you made a big mistake. I know it hurts but walk away from her, you will be better off. I'm not being an a-hole here, that really is your best option.Quote:
Originally Posted by Horbachj1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Unless she started acting like this the moment you guys got married, this is the person you chose to marry. Did you think all of this would change because you got married. Sounds like she needs a lot of personal work done and seems like you may have rushed into a marriage with someone who wasn't marriage material. Dont take me as being mean to you, this is what I can see based on what you have told us thus far. Whatever you do my friend, you need to make your mind up sooner than later. Wish you the best my man.
my advice to you is to think long and hard about your marriage. maybe make a pro's and con's list. think about where you see yourselves in 5 years, 10 years time. you's really need to talk about it.. the biggest things in a relationship/marriage are love, communication, trust and working together. and from what you've written it seems like you's have a trust issue..
if you really want to work on the marriage and really think it can work then do it but you's both have to be willing to work on it together and change and have to give it 100%.. i don't think you need a counselor to help you. you's know what the issues are and just need to talk about them.. if you's do decide to end the marriage then do it sooner rather than later before you have any kids..
hope that kinda helped..
The things I have highlighted would be dealbreakers for a lot of people. Not the medication part alone, but the fact she's drinking as well, knowing she had drug problem in the past.Quote:
Originally Posted by Horbachj1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Also, what kind of shady behaviour do you mean?
Do you have kids? If not, you might want to cut your losses. Tho I would get some counselling first. Cheaper than divorce.
Why did you marry her when you knew she had these issues?
I agree with indi - those things highlighted would be on my dealbreaker list. If you are going to lose her, for gods sake, do it BEFORE she gets knocked up. Once there are kids in the picture, it is harder to leave, because you are morally responsible to ensure they have a safe home environment, which probably cannot be provided with someone with depression and drug/alcohol issues.